Dachshund Personal Ads

[David C.]

I was sitting with Zora and the silly idea popped into my head:  What if Zora had to put out a personal ad?  It would look something like this:

SSF (single smooth female) seeking SSM.  I'm a trim & athletic 6 y.o. chocolate/tan (with a smidge of white in the snout)  with a shiny coat.  Must like walks, goferrides in the car, snuggling in sunbeams...and food!   Not interested in aggressive males.   Did I mention must like food?   

What would your dachshund's personal ad look like?

[Sandishooligans]

SSF seeking SSM to take naps in the sun with.  I am a petite and rather squeaky older lady who doesn't like a lot of fuss and muss.  Seeking companion who isn't pushy and likes quiet times.  Must not be put off by my moods as I will ignore you if I feel like it.....and I often do.  If you are interested in meeting me, I may not be interested in meeting you, but you can woof at me anyway.  I can be found sitting on my mommy or papa's lap most of the time.

[Kari]

SSF seeking a SB&TM (I'm an equal opportunity kind of girl  ). I am an athletic girl who is seeking a zoomies relay partner. Must not mind the fragrant smell of Frito's. Must not mind being ignored when the daddy comes home since it is my job to be the official daddy greeter. Must enjoy moving frequently in the afternoon to follow the sunbeam. If interested give my daddy a call as you must meet and pass his inspection first!

[Doxherding Karen]

SSM responding to your siren calls.

Ladies, I am a mature, masculine, mellow mini-dachshund who enjoys napping in the sun.  In the dark.  Under blankies.  Under Auntie Karen's feet.  I love goforrides, but walking is not my forté.  After all, what is Auntie Karen for anyway?  When guests arrive, I will yip until I am picked up - I want to be part of the conversation, not just another pretty face at floor level.

I have the most adorable "Popeye" swagger to my walk - a kind of English Bulldog chestiness and my muscular legs are to die for.  Call and let me know when you can fit me into your schedule!

[Kathleen]

Hilarious.  Okay, here's one for each of my "singles".  Winston first.

SLHM seeks active female of any coat or color.  Must love fetching, but always let me actually get the ball-I get cranky if you are too grabby.  Must love goferrides, chewies and walks in nature.  Sadly, no children will be in our future (Thanks Mom!  No, really.)   I play rough and loud.  Did I mention I like to play?  Seriously, no lazy grrls need apply.

[Kathleen]

SSM seeking a SSF who loves napping in the sunspots, doesn't steal bones and loves food and treats.  I'm a big cuddler and burrower, so the closer, the better, ifyaknowwhatImean?     I need a brave girl, because strangers make me verrry nervous.  I'm not to macho to admit, I could use some protection, other than my mommy. 

[Kathleen]

SLHF seeking...Hmm.  I'm not sure I'm seeking.  See, I like to play with my brothers.  Sometimes, I like strangers.  But, I don't like sharing toys, food or space.  If I'm sleeping and you bump me, look out mister!  So, I'm moody, greedy and don't like getting dressed in girl clothes, even though mom keeps trying.  So, I guess if I sound like your kind of girl, you're just weird, but okay.

[Delia and girls]

SBF seeking SWorBM. Must like goferrides, hunting, eating and being bossed around. I would love to cuddle with you, especially under my blankies. What goes on under those blankies is my call - remember, I'm the boss! I'm very good at sharing my toys and chewies. Oh, and must be house trained. I'm NOT your momma and NOT cleaning up after you! If you're still interested, after reading this, email is the best way to contact me.

[sollysmom]

SSM seeking any and all interested partys for my royal court.  Food, bellyrubs, goferrides, naps, and food are the law of the land.  Anyone interested please contact my hoomama.

King Solomon

[Doxherding Karen]

SSM seeking any and all interested partys for my royal court.  Food, bellyrubs, goferrides, naps, and food are the law of the land.  Anyone interested please contact my hoomama.

King Solomon

I wear this crown because I'm in touch with my feminine side.  whaddya think - too much?

[Mike]

I wear this crown because I'm in touch with my feminine side.  whaddya think - too much?

Well, he does say seeking any and all interested parties...

[neshane]

SSF seeking a nice,fun,easy going male. Must like to play ball and many other games I have made up to keep us busy most of the day.  I do have a hot tub boat for those romantic rides , and great meals with a few treats. Must put up with a overbearing mommie with a flashy box and makes you dress up in funny clothes.
I'm now heading to 8yrs.old and I'm looking harder,please consider soon.

[Leslie]

Wild & Crazy S B&T looking for companion with good hunting and excavating skills.  Must like fruits and vegetables and rolling around in maggoty things.  Looking for someone who can reach the kitchen counter. You can win my heart with a tomato.

[Leslie]

Quiet homebody seeks cuddler with warm lap.  Must like lickies and Bobos. Hobbies include hunting mice, harassing skwirls and chewing rawhide. If you like a good wiener dawg smackdown I am your gal.

[Dianne]

Distinguished older gentlman desires laid-back older lady companion for snoozing in the sun, walkies and goferrides.  I will share just about anything for the right girl that can be my ears and stand my snoring; but, please no barkers or biters need apply.  Patches

[sollysmom]

Well, he does say seeking any and all interested parties...

I didn't have no choice.  My hoomama put it on me and then laughed.  Thought it was funny.  Being King is not funny. It serious.  I still looking for my royal court, so member to contact my hoomama if interested.  I can knight or title any who wants one (cause I's the king).

Solly

[Doxherding Karen]

Well, he does say seeking any and all interested parties...

MISTER MICHAEL - PUHLEEEZE!!

I MAY BE A SWINGER, BUT I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!

King Soloman

[Leslie]

I didn't have no choice.  My hoomama put it on me and then laughed.  Thought it was funny.  Being King is not funny. It serious.
Solly

      it serious       Love you Solly.