We only need a few....

MyLittleBoo · August 23, 2007, 02:02:01 PM

Hi ebrybody, dis is EmmyLou.... If any of you have some rays floating around today, could you pwease send dem for my momma???

She is sure sad today... I eben cuddled her lots dis morning... She sez dat today is da one year anniversary when my brudder Boo passed... I don't know all da details about dat night, but it sure broke my momma up late last night and dis morning.... I'm weally confused about dis, and weally worried dat, she will just be sad foreber now????

So, if ya hab any extra rays, pwease send dem our way....

Fank you!!! Lub~ Pwincess Emmy

Hi, all... EmmyLou's right... I could sure use a few rays.... I can't believe how hard it still is on the year anniversary of losing my best friend.... EmmyLou has definately helped me out alot this last year.... But, late last night, it hit me... It was exactly midnight when I found Boo like he was, and at 1 am on this date last year is when I said my final goodbye to him.... Some of you may know the story, not sure if I ever posted exactly what & how it happened on here.... It is a long story, that played itself all over again in my head all night long... While I've been awake, and mostly in my dreams last night... The only thing that really helps me out is knowing that Boo is playing with my other fur angels at the bridge, and that they are all patiently wating for me to arrive.... I hope that is still quite awhile... lol Anyways, I don't want to make this post too long, but here are a couple poems I found after losing Boo.... These really hit home to most of us, and I can definately find the truth in them... I also, know that there are some more of us on here nearing that dreadful one year... My heart is with you all at this time, I didn't think it would be this hard... How can we not miss them so terribly??? *hugs* ~Tara

MyLittleBoo · August 23, 2007, 02:05:47 PM

Okay, here are the poems.... I don't want to be a downer, but these are great.... They really help me at times...

I got to the gate of heaven yesterday after we said goodbye.
I began to miss you terribly, because I heard you cry.
Suddenly there was an angel and she asked me to enter heaven's gate.
I asked her if I could stay outside for someone who'd be late.
I wouldn't make much noise you see,
I wouldn't bark or howl,
I'll only wait here patiently
and play with my tennis ball.
The angel said I could stay right here and wait for you to come
Because heaven just wouldn't be heaven if I went in alone.
So I'll wait here, You take your time, but keep me in your heart.
Because heaven just wouldn't be heaven without you to warm my heart.

Lend Me a Pup

I will lend to you for awhile,
a pup, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
and mourn for him when he's dead.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe two or three
But will you, 'till I call him back,
take care of him for me.

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be brief)
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd's life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take my Pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy Will be Done,"
For all the joys this Pup will bring,
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness
we'll love him while we may
And for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay
But should you call him back
much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and try to understand.
If, by our love, we've managed,
your wishes to achieve
In memory of him we loved,
to help us while we grieve,
When our faithful bundle departs this world of strife,
We'll have yet another Pup and love him all his life.

-author unknown

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown

We Have A Secret

We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

TerriL · August 23, 2007, 02:36:06 PM

Thanks so much for sharing the poems Tara.... it's just so difficult, isin't it? Many rays heading your way. I'll be praying that you find comfort when it gets hard.
Princess Emmy, you be sure to give your mama lots and lots of kisses and pretty soon she WILL feel better. Smooches and belly rubs to you. By the way...how are all of those puppies doing? Can we maybe get some pics?????

Kari · August 23, 2007, 03:40:23 PM

We are definitely thinking of you today! It is so hard to lose our furkids and we are sending you hugs

Barb · August 23, 2007, 05:33:34 PM

Bless your heart - it is never easy losing them. I am sure he is watching over you and wishing he was still here to cuddle with you. But you will meet him again - he will be waiting at the Bridge for you. Kiss all over the puppers that are with you now - Boo helped them get there !

Valerie · August 23, 2007, 07:45:09 PM

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Its always so hard.

MyLittleBoo · August 23, 2007, 09:44:46 PM

Thanks to you all.... It was a very hard day... And to make matters worse, my hubby decided that we would go for a drive through the mountains ( which was Boo's favorite spot)... So, it was a long emotional ride.... And, wouldn't ya know it, I didn't have my camera!!!! There was a cloud that looked like a Doxie!!! I was sooo mad at myself for leaving my camera home....

Just my luck huh... lol And, I will post some more pics of the puppies tomorrow.... They are 4 weeks old today... Growing fast... Just love their cute little fluffy faces....

Roberta · August 24, 2007, 11:10:06 PM

Each year the pain lessen, but it never really goes. My mum always says you have to have loved to know that you've lost. Boo is there watching to make sure you are allsaafeand sound.
Big hugs
Roberta

cheryl186 · August 25, 2007, 08:42:59 AM

Tara...the tears flowed for you when I read these wonderful Poems.....thank you for posting them. I think what is so tragic about Boo are the circumstances of his passing....I hate IVDD and what it does to our babies!!!! I hope you are feeling a little better today and that these poems and the comments of all your friends here have comforted you. Boo is smiling down upon you pain free and happy now...please take comfort in knowing that. That Doxie cloud was Boo's way of telling you he is alright......

MyLittleBoo · August 30, 2007, 02:16:48 PM

Thank you all soooo much for the rays last week... They sure helped... I just wanted to share a photo of my little man... This was taken a year before we lost him... Boo loved to camping and loved to do anything in the mountains, he was definately part of the family, as that is where we spend most of our summers..... So, here is my handsome little Boo, doing what he loved the most... This has got to be my favorite of him....

PattyInAK · August 30, 2007, 03:05:56 PM

Tara, the anniversaries ARE hard, because it brings it all back. What you are feeling is completely normal. This is definitely the place to come to talk about it. When I hit the one year anniversary of Domingo's death, I thought that somehow a line would be drawn and I would feel better. NOPE! It brought all the details of the worse day of my life back, and it set me back for about a week until I caught up with my healing again. And I wrote this poem for Domingo --

THE LAST FIRST
(for DOMINGO)
April 1992 �" August 2002

Tomorrow is the last "first"
I will go through without you
The one year anniversary
Of you passing away

Stunned silent the day you died
My life crumbled around me
Unable to continue living
But having no choice
I go through the motions of life
As if watching myself through a window

Stuck in time, but still
The gold leaves cover your grave
Reminding me of the
Passing of time

Grief’s journey becomes everyday life
I put one foot in front of the other
Live one day at a time

The snows come late
Gold leaves now brown
Are blown about by northern winds

The details of the day you left
Become blurred, fogged over
The sharp edges have softened
A song, a photo shatters it all
And with the morning, once again
I weave the first layer of healing

I get through the holidays
Light your candle on New Years Eve
Your birthday comes with the spring
But the only songs I hear are
"Where have all the flowers gone"
and "You’re walking meadows in my mind"

I plant flowers and a tree for you
No flowers grow, only weeds
You'd laugh, because you always loved the weeds

Green ferns cover the scars of last fall
Little white flowers bloom
I’ve stared at your rock so long
I see your face in it

Events and experiences
We think are here, then gone
Soak our lives
And change the color of the threads of our being

Like a book that’s read
And put aside
Never to be opened again
But the story remains
And memories of you will never die

The day comes when I finally laugh
It’s a momentary release from the bonds
Of mourning that have weighed me down
For days, weeks and months.
And now, its been a year

Has it been 365 days
Since I last saw you?
Or I am 365 days
Closer to seeing you again?

-patty sacheck

MyLittleBoo · August 30, 2007, 04:01:00 PM

Wow, Patty, that was a great poem... And, in between the chills and the tears, I completely understand where you are coming from with every word.... You're right, the anniversaries are very hard.... I too was hoping for some sort of closure at the year mark... It didn't happen.. Boo will forever be in my heart, and I know he has forgiven me, now I need to learn to forgive myself... That was an awful night, and I didn't know what else to do at the moment, but to give him the last, greatest gift I could, and ease his pain, his suffering... It's not every day, you see your baby like that (thank God!), and I hope to never see that sight again (although it is etched in my mind)... And, I pray every day that little Emmy doesn't have to go through that hell... I often wonder, what was going through my Boo's mind at the time, did he know the end was there?? Did he realize I ended it for him only because I love him?? There was such irrepairable damage done to his stomach, I don't even think that our regular vet could of helped him... I have finally come to terms with his sudden and tragic death, but I still have them little "what if's".... "What if" I could of made it the 1/2 hour to our regular vet? Could they of saved him?? Or, would the hole of gotten bigger by then?? It got bigger in just 2 blocks, how much bigger would it of been in a 1/2 hour?? I had a towel around him, trying my dangdest to keep it from growing larger, but it didn't help... Anyway, now that my post has gotten out of control... lol I love the poem, someday, I will be able to write one for my Boo... After the pain lessens, and I can only think about the good times and not that fateful night last year... And, I know in time I will forgive myself, and be ok with it all, but for now, my memories mix themselves up... I think of the good times, and that night always pushes itself in there somehow... I only hope that my closure comes soon.... *hugs* ~ Tara "I did then what I knew to do, when I know better, I will do better."