How important are your dogs to you

[Dee Dee and Hallie]

My family pretty much understands me but not to the extent things really are. I sometimes get the comment that I have never had human children so I don't really know what the love of a child of your own is really like. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I do love Hallie every bit as much as other people love their own children. And I know there are many other people out there that feel the same. I would give my life for her, I cater to her all day long and I feel so much love for her it makes me cry, how much more could you love another being than that. My respsonse to this is always that yes even though I've never had a human child, you also have never loved a dog like this so you haven't experienced the other side and can't say that some people don't love their dogs as much as if they were human children. A good friend just lost her dog and is devasted by it, she was her child. She has her first grandbaby (human :)) on the way so the comment was "Well then she has a replacement coming she'll be OK" So my response was if you had lost your daughter when she was 10, would having a new grandchild coming take the place of that, response of course was well that would be totally different, etc (we weren't fighting we all get along great it just was a discussion but I get frustrated when people don't understand how much I love Hallie.)

(I have to say my family is basically GREAT, 8 of them came to Hallie's birthday party last night with presents and sang birthday songs to her LOL she had a wonderful day). But this one little thing comes up now and then and it's not a big deal but got me wondering how many dog people DO love their dogs truly as much as their own children.

So be honest...I'd like to hear how many of you really do love your doxies as if they were your own children. (I have friends that tell me they love their dogs like their children...then the next thing you know they are selling that dog because they have a young new show prospect...that is NOT the same kind of love, you do not sell your children to make room for another, not that it is right or wrong but not the kind of "loving them like children" I am asking about here).

[Roberta]

Like you I have never had any children, but I must say I love my dogs(don't tell them I called them a dogs) as my kids. We are fortunate to have  a family  who think the same way about all animals, and friends a few the same.
The devistation when they leave this earth before us, then the worry of what happens if something happens to us............that so far is throught out, my mum and sister.
I think most people never let theirselves get close enough to their pets to really love them. I know my pair are dogs but it does not mean they are lesser beings.
roberta
Ps happy birhtday Ms H

[Barb]

Big hand raised here !!!!  I have not had a human child, but did help raise my stepdaughter.  I have as much love for Rudy and Brandy as if they  were  human children.  I worry about them being home alone all day, I worry desperatly when they are at the vets office, and worry when I know they are not feeling the best.  I don't even like to think forward to when it is their time to go to the Bridge, I don't know that I can handle it.

If I have spare time, or time off of work - I love to be at home, just getting things done and sitting down in between chores - so they can come cuddle with me.  They bring me peace and I do tear up when I watch them sleep - somewhat the way you watch a human child sleeping.

The majority of my family understands - we have always had pets as part of our family growing up, but the one holdout was my sister in law UNTIL she got her own little Star - a Maltipoo who is the light of Ruby's life.  She still has kids at home, but whenever she is away from home for one thing or another....her comment is how much she misses her Star !!!  SHE even says to me - how much they made fun of me for spoiling R&B and now she knows why !!!

I love Rudy and Brandy dearly and now I am missing them really badly right now !!!!!   

[PattyInAK]

I hear ya!!!  I love Willy and Alex SO much!  When we lost Misty, we lost our little daughter.  Same with the horses we have lost.  Each one was loved SO much.  Losing Domingo devastated me beyond words, I can't imagine feeling more grief than that and actually living through it.

The animals in my life are not "just a" anything.  Nothing can take their place or fill their shoes when they are gone.  Each one is unique and special.

I have a sister who just doesn't get it about loving a dog, or any other animal.  Her family has this wonderful black lab, and I don't know, they just don't treat him like one of the family.  My sister's kids have the same cold approach to animals, they just don't get it.  But sometimes people like that learn the hard way -- they let their dog run loose, it gets hit by a car, and THEN they realize that just maybe the dog meant something to them.

People who have never loved a dog or any other animal, are missing out on a great part of life.  To be loved back by those same animals is heaven. 

And speaking of heaven.............the same people who like to remind me that animals don't have souls and therefore don't go anywhere after they die, are the same people who are too self-centered to love anything. 

[Valerie]

My DH and I don’t have children either, and don’t plan on having children.  Cookie IS our baby.  And we are so happy with that.  Eventually when we live in a house, we would love to have a couple more weiner dogs.  And I have already promised Cookie that she can be in charge when she gets some brothers and sisters one day. 

We really do love and worry about her as we would our own child.  (like I said in my other post- my DH and I both will not go on another long trip again- its too traumatic for her and us to be apart that long).  I too have gotton some of the comments from people who have children that say that dogs mean less to you after you have kids.  Well, if that is the case, I’ll pass on the kids.

I do have one colleague who has a dog (not a doxie) and a child that is 13, and she tells me that she considers her dog equal to her child.  She said that no one understands her love for her dog, which is why she and I get along great and share dog stories.

I am glad to be on a board like this with people who truely do understand the love a fur parent has with their fur baby (ies). 

[DP]

I have 2 girls and 3 boys and right now and the 2 four legged furry boys all living in the house with me and my husband.  I love my children with everything that I have and I would gladly give my very life to keep them safe.  I love the furry boys too but it could never compare to the love for my children.  I would do anything within my power to keep the furry boys safe too but if I had to choose between the safety of my child or one of the dogs, my children would come first.  I hope that it would never come to that but know the pain the Yamisi(sp?) must have gone through when she gave up her ZZs for her son's health.  The furry boys will be gone from this world before i will so i fully expect to say good bye to them at some point.  I hope and pray that my children will be safe and I do not expect to outlive them so I am not anticipating saying good by to them until its my time to go.  Trying to compare the feelings for children with the feelings for the pups is difficult.  I do love the dogs but I love my children soooooooo!!!!! much more.

[Leslie]

When people ask me if I have children I always get a laugh by saying: "None that I know of."

That said, I can truly say I had never before experienced being so human until I got Zuzu.  Granted, it was a rough time in my life, working for Mr. Bohica and the three witches at Toxic Management Corporation, but I think I would have felt the same, deep, abiding love anyway.  I raised her from a wee pup and guided her first explorations and taught her.  She gives us love, amusement, warm kisses, more love, and then more lickies--no matter what we wear or say or do or feel.

She is my child.  (Loki was dogapaulted by you Circus Folk--ha ha.)  When Zuzu passes away--I know this to be an inevitable truth, I will put her ashes in an urn to be scattered with mine.  "Wherever thou goest, I will go ." Ruth 1:16.  I wonder how DH will feel if he knows the inscription inside his wedding band applies to our dogs, too. 

[Leslie]

(Loki was dogapaulted by you Circus Folk--ha ha.)   

  Okay, I LOVE Loki, too.  Crazy, itchy, demanding, headstrong, food motivated... (wait, that's me!)  No kidding aside, they both get to be scattered with me.  Even the nut job.

[David C.]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this.  Everyone is different, and everyone does have different priorities.   I do love the Zs, and all their predecessors (Scally, Rusty, Rudy & Max), and I mourned the loss of each one that passed on.    However, in our lives, Jessica is clearly the priority.   I do totally understand for those who don't have hooman children that their pets become their children....and I understand those who prefer their pets to their hooman children 

Yamisi's choice was a gut wrencher...but everything does happen for a reason.   I even recall babysitting the Zs one time while Rudy & Max were still alive and even before even our Jessica was born and getting a gut feeling that we'd end up with Zeke & Zora.  Call it a premonition or whatever.   Sometimes things happen for far greater reasons than us mere humans can comprehend.

What we have witnessed recently is far greater interaction between Jessica and Zora.  Zora, who is usually more skittish, sits very contendedly while Jessica "explores" her.   Zeke, who is usually more comfortable with people, is far more jumpy with Jessica.  Maybe grabbing his huge floppy ears has something to do with it!   However, there was one day when Jessica was having a meltdown and nothing we could do or say would console her.   Zora came over and sniffed her and gave her a couple of slurps on her hand.  The effect was magical, Jessica became very calm and focused on Zora.   Somehow, the cosmos lined up that these two were meant to be together.

[Doxherding Karen]

I agree with David that there is no right or wrong answer to this. :thumb:

I have six children ranging in age from 32 to 17 and right now five of them aren't speaking to me.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet!

I have four dachshunds.  I get far more love from them than I have ever gotten from my human children.  They are always happy to see me and love nothing more than to lie down on my bed with me and snooze.

Will my human children ever grow up?  Maybe someday.  But for now, I'll take The Herd over The Tribe any time!

Karen

[Dee Dee and Hallie]

Interesting responses and sort of along the lines I expected. My theory is that most of those of us who don't have human children, don't love our dogs as children because we are without the human variety, but because we are wired to love dogs more and don't have the need. I personally have never yearned for my own human child in the least, (although I do enjoy my neice and nephews) but the four years after I lost my Jessie, I tried soooo hard to never have a dog again and go through that unbearable devasting loss, I was miserable the four years and could only think about dogs. I feel complete with Hallie, I don't even want another dog, she gives me all I need.

If I were to somehow end up with my own human child, I am convinced beyond doubt that I would love them both the same. (actually it is hard for me to imagine loving anyone as much as Hallie but I'm sure I would). Just as someone who adopts a human child can love them the same as their biological children. I have a couple of family members (and I'm sure a lot of other people) who think that is an awful thing to say. I guess they think I am saying I would love the human child less than other people love theirs because they can't understand it's possible to love a dog as much, so they feel I would be loving both less than other people. But that wouldn't be the case.

I too know a couple of people (my dog training friends) who admit they do love their dogs as much as their kids (and they love their kids a LOT). To them it is the same. I think a lot of people do but are afraid to admit it, I guess that wouldn't go over well with the human kids to hear LOL. The majority I know do have their dogs on a level below their human kids, but I also think many of those people would also not get quite as bonded to their dogs even if they didn't have kids. (some would...but I think some are just wired to love humans more).

I agree, you are right David there is no wrong or right answer. I have just been thinking about this a while and curious to the level people here are attached to their doxies. DP, there is nothing at all wrong that your doxies are pets to you and not children. I know that is true for many and you still love the doxies a lot. Everyone is wired differently. I really don't have huge issues with people who think I'm missing out or that I dont' love Hallie as much as I think I do (compared to a human child). I know I do and that many of us here do and that's enough for me. The loss of my furkids have been equal to the loss of my Dad, Mom, sister and brother and we were a VERY close knit family, I loved and needed them all sooo much and not an hour goes by that I don't miss and think about them, but my pets were/are my family too and their losses were just as devastating, even more intensley in some ways as I lived with them so had that daily routine going on. Not that I loved them MORE than my family....I loved them the same, it is just much more of a reminder they are gone when they were there every minute of the day with you.

Most all of my friends understand (and are the same way) because I dont' keep the friends that don't. I was just curious to see how many here feel that way too. One of my long time dog friends was recently telling me how much one of her dogs means to her (she breeds and shows) and that was her heart dog and soul mate, etc. The dog is 6 yrs old and yesterday she told me she can no longer be bred so there was no reason for her to stay with her so she's looking for a home for her. I just don't begin to get that. But again, it's not right or wrong, just how we are wired I guess. I do envy her in one way, that she also doesn't feel the pain of losing her dogs like I (and most of us here) do.

Les all my kids ashes go into my own plot and I will be there with them too one day. I keep saying I want to live one minute longer than Hallie because I really don't think I will be able to stand losing her one day either. But boy are we having fun while we can!!  :thumb:

LOL Karen you are a stitch. LOL!! Whenever a married friend can't do or get something due to spousal denial, I alway say that Hallie is happy for me when I get a new camera lens.  :thumb:

Anyway thanks for letting me get that off my chest, again I wasn't looking for a right or wrong, or good or bad, just wondering to what level these precious little souls effect people out there. :)

[TerriL]

My situation is a little different I think.  My three amazing children are from my first marriage.  I adore each all of them and I am blessed to have that reciprocated.  They are amazing young adults with strong minds and equally strong wills. 
When I married my current husband we got Buelah....who was also my first dog EVER. As each dachsie joined our family we learned to love them each equally, but differently.   Keith and I love all four of our furkids as if they were our children.  They actually ARE our children as we have none together.  I cannot imagine losing one of them any more than I can imagine losing one of my three human kids.  It would be devastating.  What I DO know however is that we only have our furkids for a short time and during that time we have to fit in a whole lifetime of love and memories. They make it so easy because all they really want to do is love US.  Accenpting the fact that we will most likely lose them in our lifetimes...not to mention help them go if they need it, is so difficult.  I would be lieing if I said that the thought doesn't cross my mind from time to time.    I can tell you that when Toby was so sick I agonized for him just as I would have with my human kids. 
Hummm....I just realized that the qualities that I love the most about my human kids are the same qualities that I love in my dachsies!  Strong minds and strong wills...sound familiar?   

[David C.]

BTW DD,

Somewhere in your post you mentioned that Hallie had a birthday party.  Did she have a barkday and all of us missed it?

[Brekkesmom]

I do not have human children - not that I didn't want them - the circumstances just never worked out.  I always considered my dachsies to be my furkids - before I had ever heard the term.    When I had my four-pack, I would talk about "the girls" at school, and someone I knew long ago, happened to be substituting, and said, "I didn't know you had children!"  So I laughed and said, "The girls are my dachshunds."
And yes, I do love them like they were my children.  I paid the adoption fees, after all! (And they didn't need their own rooms, their own tvs or phones, their own credit cards, cars, or gas money, and the need to pay college tuition simply isn't there!)

[MyLittleBoo]

Wow!  This is a toughie...  lol   I have 4 amazing children and 5 wonderfully adorable furkids(counting the Persian)...  I love all 9 of them in their own way...  They are all soo different and I think that is what I love most about them...  When I was asked once, "In case of a fire (egad! i am petrified of fires!!) what one thing would you save?"  Well, I do know that most of my children are old enough to make it to safety, but, I would still make sure they were safe, along with my furkids...  I think the dogs would pretty much recognize trouble and follow...  So, I would definately make sure all were safe, even risking my own life for all of them...  Oh, and then there's that family pic that I can grab on the way out the door(it has our birth certificates and marriage license in back)....  But, I agree with Karen...  My hookids range from 7-13 and no matter how excited they are to see me, the furkids are always more excited...               And, don't worry DD, my family thinks that I am strange cuz I love my furkids sooo much, they also think I am strange cuz they don't understand why I spend so much time on here...  Well, I guess they'll never know will they....  I just look at them and smile, and think to myself, if they had a dog or cat, they might not be soooo danged stuffy!!  lol   Which makes me ponder yet another question in my life right now....  My hubby and I aren't doing as well anymore, and talking the big "D"...  UGH!!!  But, can I really live without seeing 2 of my hookids all the time??  They will only be with me while their dad is working???  What about the pets??  Well, three of them will definately go with me, but he will keep Ransom....  What will I do without that little clown???  He is a momma's boy.....  Oh, what rough waters ahead, for all of us...  Sorry, to hone in on this topic...  It just got me thinking about it....                :xfinger:    wish me luck....

[David C.]

One other reply, which I think sums it up.   One of my co-workers just went on maternity leave for her first child.   Up until this point, her pug Winnie was everything to her.   Our boss said "once you have the baby, you're going to forget about the dog".   Curious, I e-mailed her on how Winnie was doing with her new addition and her response was:

Winnie is good....she follows us all around and LOVES the baby.  She sniffs and kisses her...it is too cute.  I give Winnie extra love so she is not so depressed...  Robert (our boss) said I won't have time for Winnie...he is soooo not a dog person....Winnie is still my world...she just needs to share it:)

[doxielady5569128]

I love my little guy like a child.  My husband and I both call him our "little man" or our "son".  I can't imagine loving him as just a dog.   We do want children in the future, but he will be referred to as their "brother" not as jut a pet.  He is a HUGE part of our family!!  Almost everythingwe do activity wise revolves around things Porky likes to do. 

Who knows, maybe we just spoil him too much.  But, I'd rather love my dog too much than take my time with him for granted.

[Dee Dee and Hallie]

It's so nice to read stuff like this, great stories, makes me smile! (OK some of you made me LAUGH). Your co workers note though David got me teary. That is SO cool. Tara so sorry to hear this, of course we are wishing you luck. That would be so hard.

And yes David Hallie turned 7 yesterday! I couldn't post the pics because I had to loan the camera I used to my brother for some work stuff and won't have it back for a week or so. Hallie had a great birthday though, the day before, my 11 yr old niece spent the night (she is the daughter of my sister that we lost, when my niece was just 2 months old so she's very special little girl to us and so sweet and LOVES dogs). So Hallie and Rachel were in heaven, Rachel brushed her all over, put bows in her hair, kissed her all over, kept offering her Dee Dee approved treats, etc. Hallie would roll on her back for the brushing and would nod off while her hair was being done. She was so excited the next morning when we got up to race into the living room to see Rachel.

Then yesterday, on her actual birthday, Rachel and I took Hallie shopping and then we had a party at my step mothers, with 8 of us. I told them no presents but they brought them anyway and sang birthday songs to Hallie LOL who just stood there looking up at everyone with her tail slowly wagging. She got her usual cake, a mound of canned food flanked with scrambled eggs and an organic baby carrot "candle". She was so exhausted by then that she couldn't stay awake long enough to open all her presents so we finished those off today. She got a card that yodels and sings when you open it and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard, I was just playing it for her and she was staring at the card with head cocked, then looking behind the card, then behind me, then up at the ceiling, then at the tv...when she finally realized it was coming from the card she grabbed it and started digging real fast on it then she was trying to toss it thru her back legs like a football.

Very happy little 7 (yikes!) year old girl! Here are a few of the pics I took with a different camera. I practiced some studio shots on Rachel too. (PS that red bow in Rachels hair in the last photo is actually one of Hallie's that she got for her birthday  )

[Teresa]

Happy Belated Birthday to Hallie. I love the card story!! The music cards have become my favorite ones to buy now!!
Your pictures of Rachel and Hallie are fabulous. They actually made me tear up a little. Maybe it's the story behind Rachel, or maybe it's just  something about that love between a dog and a child. Could be both.
The studio shots are WONDERFUL!! You have a great human subject to practice with also!!!

[Doxherding Karen]

Happy Happy Happy Happy!!!

I got my son one of those musical cards that plays the Star Wars theme.  One of the staff brought him the mail while he was in line in the cafeteria.  When he opened it, he said, it was like one of those commercials where everybody stopped, turned, and stared.  And then, being a room full of psychiatric patients who all have their own nerdiness, they all started humming the entire musical score!!!  He loved it!

A very happy bark-day to Hallie and many more!!!!!

Karen and The Herd

[Barb]

One other reply, which I think sums it up.   One of my co-workers just went on maternity leave for her first child.   Up until this point, her pug Winnie was everything to her.   Our boss said "once you have the baby, you're going to forget about the dog".   Curious, I e-mailed her on how Winnie was doing with her new addition and her response was:

Winnie is good....she follows us all around and LOVES the baby.  She sniffs and kisses her...it is too cute.  I give Winnie extra love so she is not so depressed...  Robert (our boss) said I won't have time for Winnie...he is soooo not a dog person....Winnie is still my world...she just needs to share it:

This brought tears to my eyes..... wow !   The joy in having furkids is co-mingling them with the human kids....all one big happy family !

[PattyInAK]

The pictures of you niece and Hallie are priceless!
Speaking of priceless.............someone could come up to me and offer one million dollars for Willy, Alex or any of my horses or our cat Pepper, and I would not take it.   I would not "sell" my kids anymore than a parent would sell a human child.  Well, I know that some have sold their kids but they are scum. 
Domingo was the first "kid" Dan and I had together, which made his parting all the more sad.  Our pets give us unconditional love, they are always excited to see us, and they don't let us down like people do.  I would walk through fire for any one of the animals in my care.  I not only love them, I need them. 

[Barb]

Oh dd - the Hallie and Rachel pictures and stories made me all teary...... love it !

Happy Belated Birthday Miss Hallie BB !!!!  Smoochies all over you !

[Paula]

OK well I can now speak from experience after just had my third baby (first human one) the first two being donuT and sugar. People said to me that once I had my "real" child that I would realise that donuT and sugar were "only dogs"... how wrong they were (those people have definately lost brownie points and dropped several grade on our friends list!!!)

My husband and I struggled each day prior to our daughter being born about potentially loving our furbabies less, but it was not to be. If anything we love them more - if that is possible! I think it is because even though there is just as much love there, there is less time with a newborn. However, I still cook for my donuT and sugar (people said this too would stop, but they still get their chicken drumsticks, liver and rice everyday), they still sleep in the big bed, wear their clothes, they still get their feeties chopped, teeth cleaned and showers with us  :thumb: They get their presents ordered over the internet too - at the same time I order stuff for our little human baby.

People who don't understand our love for our furbabies are the ones who are missing out. They just don't get it and never will. Their loss cos it just means more babies for us to love! 

[Beth]

First of all, Happy Belated Birthday, Hallie-grrrl!

Before I had Lara I remember thinking how I could ever love a hooman child as much as I love Chilie.  After I had Lara, I realized that while I love Chilie with my whole heart, nothing can compare to the love you have for the child you gave birth to. 

Dee Dee, the statement you made about your love for Hallie: "I feel so much love for her it makes me cry" I totally get, and that is exactly how I would describe the love I feel for my own daughter.  I used to hate it when people would say, "When you have children, you'll understand", but now that I have Lara, I get it.  That is not to say that I don't love Chilie just as much....just in a different way....she is still my dog-child.  I would be just as devastated if something happened to Chilie as I would if something happened to Lara.  The other day is a good example:

I put Chilie out in the yard and couldn't find her harness, so I just looped the leash around her neck.  BAD IDEA! :verdict:  I came out to check on her about ten minutes later, and she was gone!  The panic and fear that ran through me was exactly the same and just as intense as one of those moments I have had when I couldn't find Lara.  I sprinted around the house, and you can imagine my sheer relief when I saw Chilie just grazing the grass in the front yard.  I picked her up and hugged and kissed her and then brought her inside.  I couldn't live with myself if anything were to happen to her.

Chilie is way more than "just a dog" to me.  Like my hubby says, Chilie isn't a dog...she's like a little person.  But there is nothing more important to me in this world than my own daughter, Lara.  I would do anything and everything for her.  I never thought I could ever love someone this much.