HELP - Alpha Dog Struggle

[VBDoxieMom]

We are having an issue with Kirby and Max - Kirby is older, and they are both the same size.  Kirby is not happy without Sol in charge, but he loves Max.  Neither of them have taken over as "alpha dog" an they are having anxiety issues when we aren't home.  Please give me your input on how long it should take for alpha dog establishment - its been 2 months.  I am half tempted to get a 3rd dog (oh the pain, LOL) but I just don't know.  We are n0ot looking for anyone to get bossy, but Kirby seems so insecure, whining and crying when we leave and he never did that before.
Any input is appreciated.

[Roberta]

It may not be a "Alpha" thing he may just be stressed as he left with someone he is getting used to, and Max might be stressed for the same reason.
We always have left ours with their bed in the same place by the window, blankies etc,  Ollie I used to leave one of my windcheaters I had worn
so he had a smell. When we leave we say the same thing, stay and  be good, back soon and give them a few liver treats. Their baed is where they can see us go and what ever comes in the drive.
when we get a new arrival we would do this and leave for 10 mins then 20 and 30 till they got the hang we were coming back.

Roberta

[David C.]

Remember Max was uprooted from his "pack" as well.   I think when Max realizes his situation is permanent, he will make a play for Alpha if Kirby does not.   At some point, Kirby may realize that Sol is not going to return and that may be the impetus for him to develop his Alpha tendencies.  Age really isn't relevant in pack order.   Rudy-angel was dominant over Max-angel, even though he was three and a half years younger.

   

[Kathleen]

And adding a third dog into an unstable pack is a recipe for disaster.  Let them settle down and sort out their issues before you consider adding another.

[Leslie]

Are they snugglin' with each other or are they aloof?  If they aren't snoozin' together maybe a physical barrier will be needed to make them feel more confident.  The x-pen across one room or something. Does Kirby have access to his crate?

[Barb]

I think they just need some time. For Kirby - the change is huge - the mentor that had always been there for him is now gone.  I think they are both just finding their way.  Great ideas from others.  They both may also feel some stress from you, as you worry about how all this is going to play out.  All in all - huge changes have happened in the last 2 months for ALL of your family.   Keep the routine the same.  When they both snuggle with you - give them both the same amount of attention and verbally express how glad you are that they are getting along and love each other.

Not to hijack the thread, but when Toby came to our family - it was ALOT of months (at least 6) before 1) I felt comfortable  2) Ru and Bran even tolerated him  3) Toby finally got used to a routine and calmed down some.

Keep us posted - please !

[VBDoxieMom]

The snuggle, and play - and really seem to have bonded.  You all have valid points, I guess it will take more time.  Sol was my first dog, and he completely ignored Kirby the first month he was here, but then it clicked.  So I guess I don't have much to compare to.  Thanks for all the advice!!!

[dachsville]

Hey, aren't WE supposed to be the Pack Leader/Alpha??  According to Cesar Milan, we are.  My two boys actually seem to be on even ground, which I think is amazing.  Boomer will bring a toy to Slinky to play tug with and Slinky will do the same. Since the day we brought those two rescued boys in our house, however, they seem to acquiesce to Schnitzel, who I really deem the Alpha of my pack.   Schnitzel has really mellowed through the years, though and doesn't get as dominating as she used to.  The only issue she has and always will have is being food aggressive.  I feed her treats and food in a separate room from all the others.