HELP/Advice needed BAD

BandCMomma · October 20, 2008, 09:48:08 AM

For those of you who have been following my posts know that 2 weeks ago, I put my 13 y.o., Gizzy (kitty), to sleep & it turned out my Cali pupper was the one who was sick. Well-my mom's cat, James, who has been a total PIG

everywhere we have lived (pooping places other than the litter box). He used to be my kitten, but I gave him to my mom when he was about 9-months-old. We have told my mom time & time again that his behavior/actions are unacceptable and she needs to DO something about it. Well, besides just cleaning it up, she's doing nothing about it. She says "Well, I'll have a talk with him" sarcastically. Well, now we own our own house (which she made happen, financially) and the downstairs is basically hers & my sons area. Well, almost on a daily basis, James has mucusy poop in the bathroom downstairs. I think he needs to be put down asap, but she's in total denial. What can I do???

I took actions when I thought it was MY cat, but now, we don't even know if it was her! HELP!

P.S. I gave Cali all her meds and she couldn't be better. See? I take good care of my pets...she doesn't...and we're under the same roof!

Kari · October 20, 2008, 10:49:27 AM

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with putting down an animal just because they go to the bathroom where they aren't supposed to...am I reading your post correct (if not, apologize). There are a lot of reasons that cats go where they aren't supposed to...for example, Tucker didn't like the litter we had so he wouldn't go in his box, we also realized that the dryer scared him (his box was in the laundry room) so he wouldn't go in it. I think you need to find an alternative solution - maybe a new home where he can go outside? I don't think putting him to sleep is the answer, that may be the easy answer for you, but not in the best interest of the cat.

Dee Dee and Hallie · October 20, 2008, 11:15:02 AM

If James stool is mucousy, that is more likely a medical problem rather than a behavior problem. It sounds like a chronic problem if he has been doing this in several places you've lived. Maybe he has an intolerance from something in his food, or worms even, or stress, IBD, etc. Has he been to a vet? I'm sure if the problem is identified and treated he can be taught to use the box more reliably. As Kari says it is definitely not a reason to consider putting him down if he is healthy otherwise. How old is James? If it is causing enough stress for you to think of putting him down maybe time to find him a different home? If your Mom would be open to that. Was Gizzy kitty healthy otherwise, are you saying he may have been put down and wasn't sick? I had two older kitties sick at the same time, my 13 yr old Simon was vomiting pretty much daily and my 20 yr old Sophie girl was having diarrhea daily, neither of them could hold it long enough to make it somewhere more appropriate, so I know the stress of having to clean up the messes. I have a clean carpet now but miss those two!

Please let us know what happens with James, hopefully he can get figured out and will be using his litter box instead of the bathroom! :xfinger:

April · October 20, 2008, 12:50:30 PM

I don't think putting down the cat is really the answer here. Taking it to the vet to get checked out is the answer. Of course following through with the course of action is as well. From the way I'm reading your post the stool hasn't always been mucousy and suddenly is. He has always gone in inappropriate places though. It sounds like training is in order for the cat, but there may be an underlying medical condition causing the misbehaviour and nothing will work until that is corrected.

doxielady5569128 · October 20, 2008, 04:16:48 PM

I would take him to the vet as well. At least find out what is going on medically with James before considering putting him down. Please keep us posted about James. How old is James?? My sister's cat is 20 and often has accidents on the floor, but there is nothing medically or behaviorally wrong with her, besides she has arthritis and can't run to the door fast enough sometimes. If he's really old, maybe he's having trouble climbing in the litterbox.

Or maybe he is confused where it is? I really don't know. Its hard to say without more details.

Delia and girls · October 21, 2008, 09:18:23 AM

BandCmomma,

Did you find a solution? I don't see an update from you.

Kari · October 21, 2008, 09:25:13 AM

Quote from: Delia and girls on October 21, 2008, 09:18:23 AM
BandCmomma,

Did you find a solution? I don't see an update from you.

I was wondering the same thing...

Dee Dee and Hallie · October 22, 2008, 09:28:29 PM

I've been wondering too, how are things going with James?

BandCMomma · October 25, 2008, 09:44:11 AM

Honestly, after the feedback I got, I didn't want to pursue this issue here. Ones views about cats comes from how one is rasied. I DON'T feel the same way about dogs as I do cats (to a point). Here is WHY I feel putting James down would be easiest, he's around 10-11 yrs old...

My mom's other 2 cats-in short:

Leo: Age 19 or so. My mom made the vet appt. to have him put down after work one night. 45 minutes before his appt., she got home from work and found him dead on the bathroom floor, in the dark. That made me feel he may have suffered before dying naturally. 45 minutes before his appt. time!!!

Pudge: age 18, at least. Was a teenie, tiny kitty. Slept ALL day, was matted head to tail. Her time was FAR over. My mom attempted to remove a HUGE mat from her boney back and accidentally CUT right threw her skin!!! I MADE THE CALL TO THE VET!

Ugh-you guys don't understand that the only way my mom does this sh*t is if I DO IT!

There is a 'time' and I feel like James is too bad to take for treatment and to be honest, we seriously can't spend $$$ on it. Sometimes, letting go is better for the humans as well as the pet. Sometimes the treatment causes more suffering all around. I don't believe in doing that. We don't buy our cats to begin with. We usually get them from a farm, etc., and get their shots, declaw & neuter and that's about it. They spend all their lives indoors and happy until they're not happy anymore, then it's time.

So hard to explain this on here.... I don't know what else to say. I'm now scared of the comments to come.....

BandCMomma · October 25, 2008, 10:00:16 AM

ADD: I live in a farming state/community. Very few people take cats to a vet, ever. At least I give my cats their initial vetting (shots, deworming, spay/neuter, front declaw), a warm, loving home, food & water and their dignity in their final moments rather than a bullet between the eyes. Yes-I am being serious. Also, I now purchase purebred dogs. I did dog rescue (and did PetFinder for our local shelters) in the past and have found that free puppies are mixed breeds and have far more health issues (this is strictly my opinion & from my personal experience). I also drove 1,000's of miles to rescue dogs in need of immediate help. Now mind you, I did have a mutt rescue, Black Lab mix, who lived to be 13, from a shelter. I also had a free mutt, black lab mix, who had SO many skin/health issues, but he lived to be like 10-11, I think. Each person grows up with different attitudes towards different issues. My dad would say my puppy ran away (and my sisters cat) when in actuality, he shot them. Nice, ha? I'm NOT making excuses. I'm trying to be realistic and trying to explain.

Kari · October 25, 2008, 02:55:34 PM

Every one is entitled to their own opinions...

What I am going to say is that I own a dog and a cat. Penny our dog is purebred and Mr Tucker is a mutt that some lady was giving away free in front of WalMart one day. I love them the same and they are both part of our family no matter if they are a dog or cat. I am not naive and understand that in other areas of the country/world cats are not seen the same and are disposable (also dogs are seen this way too) (i.e. people who let their cats be outdoor cats in our area even though it is know that their are coyotes in the hills). I also believe that a pet, not matter what species, should never, ever suffer. So it seems in the case of your mom's other two cats they may have suffered and that is extremely sad. But with James it seems that it is more health or behavioral and it could be treated, so putting down a cat because it is inconvenient to treat them or at least see if they are treatable is a poor excuse. Also being 10/11 is really not that old for a cat. They are definitely maturing at that age and probably start showing some signs of age, but cats can live to 18+ at times (and still be healthy). If a person can't afford to care for their pets, then to be honest...they shouldn't have them in the first place. As I said this is just my opinion. Honestly if I lived anywhere near you I would come take him myself and see if he is treatable and find him a new home.

BandCMomma · October 25, 2008, 07:27:33 PM

I was in no way, shape or form trying to start anything, let me just start there. I also was being honest. What good would it do otherwise? I've said pretty much what I have to say and it's just one of those things. I don't know what's going to happen from here...it's been this way for so long. I just thought I'd ask somewhere where I feel most comfortable and less judged. Never wanted to upset anyone. It is and isn't my problem and just needed some help. Thanks, I will consider all advice given. Some people are 'cat people' others are 'dog people' others are 'all the above'. I've found I tend to lean towards dogs, but I still love my cats, but not the same way....so hard to explain...and as I try, I think of my Gizzy. Life is so unfair in so many ways.

janetleej · October 25, 2008, 09:24:59 PM

I've been in rescue for a long time as well as being an animal control officer. I've seen stuff I wish I hadn't seen and have had to make decisions I wish I didn't have to make. There was a time when I might have been pretty judgemental of this situation. But the fact is, none of us is in BandCMomma's situation. In a perfect world everyone who owns an animal would see the need for and have the resources for vet care. We don't live in a perfect world and sometimes we have to work with what we've got. I don't know BandCMomma, but I sense a lot of frustration with her mom's care of prior cats and perhaps a dread of a repeat of the situation with Leo and Pudge.

Quote from: Kari on October 25, 2008, 02:55:34 PM
If a person can't afford to care for their pets, then to be honest...they shouldn't have them in the first place.

You don't know how many times I've said that myself. I have finally realized that is not a useful thing to say. The reality is that lots of people can't afford their pets, and those people have to make a decision when their pet gets sick. Usually that is not an easy decision and sometimes that decision is to put the pet down. The other side to that is that the pet frequently had a good life, was loved and gave love. Maybe it was a shorter life than it could/should have been, but then as an animal control officer I see lots of animals that never get that chance at all.

Quote from: BandCMomma on October 25, 2008, 07:27:33 PM
Life is so unfair in so many ways.

Truer words have not been spoken.

Janet

BandCMomma · October 25, 2008, 09:39:23 PM

I am beyond words.

This is more painful than anyone understands.

papbouv · October 25, 2008, 11:56:32 PM

Rays & Hugs to you, you need them having pets is a wonderful thing you do by them the best you can at the time you can always second guess yourself to the cows come home if you have not walked in anothers shoes. You still do all you can for your pets at the time. This may get to be worse & worse as the economy gets worse and vet care keeps getting higher and higher, at least she is asking for advice not dumping her pets on the side of the road as some people do.It is no fun when our Fur Kids get older how much monies do you put into them, and what else can I do for them. You just do what you can not sure if this would work on a cat know it works on dogs have you fed the cat canned Pumpkin it is good for loose stools & consitpation too( Not the pie filling but the plain canned Pumpkin).Good luck

BandCMomma · October 26, 2008, 06:34:11 AM

Thank you. You are exactly saying what I mean. In 'normal' economical times, things would be different. I appreciate your hugs and rays. Take Care. I just cry everytime I read the replies....I am just at a loss on what to say or do.

Leslie · October 26, 2008, 08:10:10 AM

Have you considered raising funds for vet bills?
try http://www.fundable.com/startcollection

Delia and girls · October 26, 2008, 10:11:35 AM

Quote from: BandCMomma on October 20, 2008, 09:48:08 AM
For those of you who have been following my posts know that 2 weeks ago, I put my 13 y.o., Gizzy (kitty), to sleep & it turned out my Cali pupper was the one who was sick. Well-my mom's cat, James, who has been a total PIG

At the risk of inflaming this thread even more, I have to add my 2 cents. BandCmomma, I think the way you came across on your first post is why you got the replies that you did. Especially callous are the 2 sentences above that I quoted. I think most of us, if not all of us, had put down our healthy best friend instead of the sick one (and I'm not even mentioning getting the sick one vet care - not even going there), we would need professional help ourselves. You come across like..."Oh well, oops, my mistake. Sorry, Gizzy." And as for James...I think it's safe to say that all the people on this board would ask for help in how to help James with his physical/psychological problem(s). NOT how to convince your mother to put him down because he's a "total PIG." I don't know you, I'm just telling you my interpretation of what you typed. I can understand the frustration of James pooping in inappropriate areas but YOUR answer to your frustration is so NOT what this board is about. I can also understand the financial problem - vet care is not cheap. But sometimes there are inexpensive solutions. Shouldn't these be explored first, if money is an issue, instead of euthenasia? Please understand, I don't mean you can't come to this board with problems. We all do. We need each other when problems arise. But we all come asking how to make things better for our fukids, not how to kill them. Sometimes euthenasia is what's best for them but it's very seldom the first option - especially for pooping in wrong places.

The world is cruel enough when it comes to animals. This board is a tiny island, away from 'an animal is just an animal' mentality. It's the only place we can come with stories, problems and worries that the rest of the world would just roll their eyes at. We have to keep it that way.

BandCMomma · October 26, 2008, 12:03:38 PM

Walk a day in one's shoes before passing judgement. I got the picture for the most part and will not reply to this topic any further. Maybe Kari will lock it down, maybe she won't, but this is not the advice I was asking for. Thanks for the people who did offer advice. The quote below-that was just plain COLD hearted!!!

Quote from: Delia and girls on October 26, 2008, 10:11:35 AM
"Oh well, oops, my mistake. Sorry, Gizzy."

doxielady5569128 · October 27, 2008, 04:09:02 PM

I for one can understand the struggles of having to make hard decisions when a pet gets sick and there is no money to work with. (I have been there!) I'm very sorry you felt judged. I also live in a farming community and many vets around here will offer free/ or very cheap care in cases like this one with James. Perhaps you could call around and see if there is such a thing like that where you live.

Just an idea. Ultimately, no one can really know what is best for your family and James without being there to see it.

I really hope you can come up with a solution that works out best for James AND your family.

April · October 28, 2008, 09:46:53 AM

I have been and am still not financially secure if something happened requiring vet bills for my two hounds. I understand being in that situation. When I got both of the girls that wasn't an issue. There's a reason Cajsa is called the $10K dog around here and it's not because we wouldn't sell her for that much. I had issues with Cajsa this past spring and I was in tears because there was NO way I could afford what she needed, I couldn't even afford the $45 for a vet consultation. She had a partial blockage of her intestines which is deadly without surgery except if you're really lucky. We had spoken to a vet friend (he's not practicing, he teaches instead) and he told us he didn't think it would work, but we could feed her a liquid diet since she wasn't even keeping pureed rice with chicken broth down. We did that for a week and a half and I just wasn't sure it was going to work and it did somehow. I was at the point of trying to find a rescue or something to help even if I had to give her up. I was heartbroken. I think that most people on this board would have been beside themselves like I was in a situation like that. I also think that most people understand not having the financial means for traditional treatment. I grew up in a farming/rural community like you describe living in, but I still don't really understand your position from the first post. I just don't see that. Doxielady mentioned checking for a lower cost option for treatment/evaluation for James. That really sounds like a better option than straight up putting down James. It wouldn't hurt to check. Maybe something through the Humane society or pound where you could volunteer for so many hours in exchange for vet care in this instance?

I don't mean to sound judgmental of you. I am just trying to give other options and suggestions that MAY work for you, not trying to say you have to do any of them. Take what works and leave what doesn't, you know? I also wanted you to understand that there are others here on the board who understand in a very real way about finances and how difficult it is to manage vet care sometimes.

JetEd73 · October 28, 2008, 03:25:00 PM

I grew up on a farm, worked many dairy parlors. I hate to say it but on a farm cats, dogs, animals in general are kinda "expendable"...cats especially...I mean thats just the nature of the business. Animals come and go. I cried like a baby when I had to send Simon-Angel to the Bridge, and I cried for days. Even months later I found I would burst into tears.

BUT

I also know when it's time to move on.

BandCMoma

I know where your coming from. I consider myself Blessed to be able to spend $4000 dollars on surgery for my Ms. Lucy...very Blessed. and if I couldn't afford it, I'd have to do the next logical humain thing...euthanisia

Doxherding Karen · November 03, 2008, 04:16:45 PM

Well, hell, two more cents can't make this post any worse than it is already.

I think you all are missing a big part of BANDCMOMMA's whole issue: This is her mom she's talking about. Could it get any worse for her? And some of y'all need to remember that in the end, a person's quality of life trumps an animal's. Period.

If the cat is already 10-11 years old, has gastro problems, and an owner (Mom) who is the Queen of Denial, then the most humane thing to be done is to have him put to sleep by a compassionate vet. He's a barn cat who's had almost a dozen years of a good life and BandCMomma's sanity and stress is not worth prolonging this.

Karen

BandCMomma · November 04, 2008, 09:00:31 AM

Your two cents is right on the money. I'm trying to let this topic fade away, but James is still doing it-almost daily-and my mom is still cleaning it up. I'm just ignoring it.

Thank you for all the replies. In time, she'll see, I'm hoping.

doxielady5569128 · November 04, 2008, 09:29:31 PM

You know what? I owe you an apology!! I'm really sorry I misunderstood. How did I miss that in your first post you said you had asked your mom to do something and she chooses not to?? I hope you can accept my apology and I thank Karen for bringing it to our attention.