Breaking News!!!

[doxielady5569128]

Porky Pie 'porting for DOX NEWS, we had planned on doing our interview with Sir Liechtenstein today, but some unforeseen developments have caused it to be postponed.  :crazyeyes:   Last night while the suspect, Jade, was getting her nightly excercise break from jail, she attempted suicide and then an escape.   We can only guess at why she would try to end her life after her horrendous interview.    :scratch:  The jailer reported that as he was walking her across da bigest street in town, (aptly called Main Street), she freaked when she heard the sugar beet trucks coming.   

For dose of you who don't know, da sugar beet harvest is in full force right now.  Da sugar beet trucks, or beet trucks as da locals call dem, are large semi trucks often with a two trailers full of da beets.  Dey are quite noisy and scary.   

Back to da stowy....When Jade heard da trucks coming she slipped out of her collar and made a run for it across da big road and kept on going through da city park and into the adjoining cornfield.    Da jailer ran after her and into a cornfield to find her.  After chasing and searching for one hour,Jade was finally apprehended somewhere in the cornfield.   :apls:  We believe dat abter her suicide attempt failed she den got da bright idea to escape.   

Da jailer has informed us at DOX News dat in order to prevent any future suicide or escape attempts, a new collar was purchased immediately following da incident.  Da new collar cannot be "slipped out of" easily.   For dose of you still wondering, no she was not hit by any of da four trucks headed her direction, dey all were far away enough to stop safely.     Our previously scheduled interview with Liechtenstein will take place next week.

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

Mr. Leak-Ten-Styne the lawyer - hmmmpff!!!

Where'd he get his license - animal control?

Uh, Beau, YOUR license is from Animal Control.

I'M IN HIGH DUDGEON!!  DON'T CONFUSE MY TANTRUM WITH FACTS!!!!


Dr. Johnnie Cochran Leaky

Should I tell him Johnnie Cochran's still dead?

Not if you like breathing, Ima!

Why is he in a dungeon??

[sollysmom]

]Mr. Leak-Ten-Styne the lawyer - hmmmpff!!!

Eyes agrees wiff Dr. Leaky---who is dis Leak-Ten-Styne?  Eyes for one never heard of him, but on de other hand wese alls knows the high standards of youse, Dr. Leaky.

Your Pal,

Sol Da Man 

[doxielady5569128]

Dis is Porky Pie with DOX NEWS, we are planning on asking your questions about Sir Liechtenstein during our interview with him next week.  Any answers he gibs will be followed up on and checked for validity.  :verdict:   We here at DOX NEWS have become incweasingly suspicious of Sir Liechtenstein's cwedentials in recent days.       It is rumored dat Jade met Sir Liechtenstein on da stweet!!   :crazyeyes:  And to make matters worse, he is not a doxie and has no doxie relations!      It is rumored dat he has a St. Bernard/Great Dane background.   :thinik:   Dere are also many rumors going around dat he is in fact planning on "just eating da judge."  :crazyeyes: 

As I said, DOX NEWS is following up on all dese stowies and we will question him about all of dis in our interview next week.   If you hab a question you would like to ask Sir Liechtenstein, pwease attach one question per household to dis thread and we will attempt to get answers for you.  I pwomise an enlightening interview next week.  Until next time, dis has been Porky Pie wif DOX NEWS.

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

We here at DOX NEWS have become incweasingly suspicious of Sir Liechtenstein's cwedentials in recent days.    :confused:   It is rumored dat Jade met Sir Liechtenstein on da stweet!!   :crazyeyes:  And to make matters worse, he is not a doxie and has no doxie relations!   :rolleyes:   It is rumored dat he has a St. Bernard/Great Dane background.   :thinik:   Dere are also many rumors going around dat he is in fact planning on "just eating da judge."  :crazyeyes: 

He's Danish??? AND SWISS??  :verdict:

I stand vindicated.  Swiss are ALWAYS neutral, and Danish are great at teak furniture! 

Need I say more?

Dr. L. 

[peterparker]

Parker here: My Mommie eats danishes for breakfast, and I luvs the swiss cheese.

[Madderoos Mom]

GASP!  Poor Jade!  But thank goodness all turned out well.  Jade probably took a few years off her Jailer's life, or at least added a few more gray hairs on the Jailer's head.

[April]

Oh my!  I bet you gave everyone a good scare!  It scared me just reading about it!  No more daring jail breaks or suicide attempts!