Da interview!!!

[doxielady5569128]

Dis is Porky Pie reportin' for DOX News.  I sat down with the suspect and had a very informative interview this afternoon.    Without further delay, here it is.....

Porky P: I understand you are the suspect in three recent crimes in Doxie Land.
Jade: Duh… yah? 
Porky P:  If you were to appear in court today, what would you plea?   
Jade: I’ll refer dat to my lawyer Sir Liechtenstein 

Porky P: That’s fair.   If you could do anything differently on those three fateful days, what would it be?
Jade: Um…Not get caught…Er…I mean….Not be left unattended by the negligent hoomans.
Porky P:  Are you trying to place sole blame on da hoomans for your own actions?  :crazyeyes:
Jade:  Yes 

Porky P: Interesting.  :thinik:  Now, are you willing to accept the plea bargain being offered to you?
Jade:  Depends on how many treats are involved. 
Porky P:   Would you be willing to admit guilt if all charges were dropped?
Jade:  Of course!  I am guilty… Er…I mean….of course, if it helps lighten my sentence. 
Porky P:  There we have it folks!  An admittance of guilt.   :verdict:

Jade: Wait…that’s not what I meant to say!!  I meant that I would admit guilt if it would reduce my sentence or end this ridiculous case faster!     
Porky P:  (Suspiciously)  Interesting….
Sir Liechtenstein:  My client will discontinue this interview should any more accusatory statements be made. :ticked: 

Porky P:  My apologies!   I am simply demanding the answers that the doxies want to hear.
Sir Liechtenstein: Carry on then.

Jade:  Um….I’m hungry can we eat now?
Porky P: Not yet, wez gotta finish da interview!   
Jade: Oops!  Are we still recording?   
Porky P: Yes!!!   Now, back to da questions…. Ah, yes….Do you have any alibis for where you were when the three crimes occurred?   
Jade: Um….yah, I was um….well…um…oh yeah!  I was at the groomer.  See my toes?!   
Porky P:  Lovely.     Did you or did you not commit the crimes of descruction of property ( I.e. the shelf), eating of the expensive headphones, cannibalism by eating a Hebrew national hot DOG, and  video game destructicide?   We need the truth now! 

Jade: (Starting to sweat)  Um…these lights are getting hot!   
Porky P:  Um…Jade, you look faint.
Jade:  falls on da floor 

Sir Liechtenstein:  The stress of this process is clearly too much for my client to handle.  We’ll continue our interview at another time.

Porky P: But…. 


There you have it!  Although the interview was cut short, I'm sure you got enough information to form your own opinions about the client.  We are trying to set up an interview with Cheif Bandit later in da week.   Until next time, dis has been Porky Pie with DOX News 


Psst!! I almost forgot.  Da DPD (doxie police department) has fined Parker's mama three days of eggies for breakfast.  She violated the Doxie Embarassment Code by posting dat humiliating picture of Parker.  We feel for ya man!!   

[cheryl186]

 

[Madderoos Mom]

That was tooooo funny!

[AnnieofNJ]

Oh, Porky, I just love your Dox Reports.  They are the best!  Wishing you much luck in settling this matter with Jade.

Annie & the New Jersey Doxie Gang

[sollysmom]

Way to go Porky Pie.  Almost got her to admit to her crimes.  You are one sly reporter.  Keep up the good work.  :apls:

Darcel

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

:jaw: LICHTENSTEIN, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!  WHERE DID YOU GET YOU LICENSE TO PRACTICE LAW, FROM ANIMAL CONTROL, OR ARE YOU USING A SCIENCE DIET COUPON???!!???

Jade - no interviews!!  A bad day is when you open the door and Mike Wallace is standing there with a "60 Minutes" camera crew filming!  Even worse - Mr. Porky Pie!!!!

That's the only free advice I'm giving!  Remember, you get what you pay for!

Dr. Alan Dershowitz Leaky

[peterparker]

Parker here: Dr. Beau Leaky - are you wearing clothes???? Want my fleecie thing?

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

Parker here: Dr. Beau Leaky - are you wearing clothes???? Want my fleecie thing?

Thank you for your kind offer.

I weigh in at 19 pounds, so I don't think your fleecie thingie will fit me, but Guinness is only 7 pounds, and he's always cold!

Dr. Leaky

Plus I have my image to maintain - and Guinness is a stud muffin, so the powder blue would work for him!