Baby Dog's Court Date Set...

[doxielady5569128]

Porky Pie here 'porting for DOX News:   Baby Dog Nearly Murdered.   Full Story at 10.   

Ah, what the heck, we'll gib da story now!   

Da baby dog was left alone in a bedroom of the Nebraska home this afternoon.  Da baby dog, Jade, wreaked havoc in said bedroom while the hooman inhabitants were away.   It is reported to us by an anonymous source dat da hooman residents went to Wally World to buy a new crate for Jade. Jade had outgrown her other one.    It is alleged by da DPD (Doxie Police department), dat Jade jumped up on da shelf in said bedroom and grabbed an expensive pair of headphones off the top shelf. 

Chief Bandit, with the DPD, has informed us dat da hooman inhabitants returned home to find da shelf lying on da floor, and da pricey headphones, (allegedly) in da mouf of da Baby Dog of do home.   No injuries were received in dis dangerous act of violence against an inanimate object.   Howeber, da heaphones were a total loss.   Da shelf remained unbroken, and its contents were minimally damaged.   

Jade is set to appear in Doxie court on October 30.   Judge Willard B. Weiner could not be reached for comment.   We hope to hab a full interview with the suspect tomorrow morning.   

For all your Doxie news please stay tuned to da DOX News network.   

'poting from a small town in Nebraska, I am Porky Pie Bow Davis. 

[DeeanDave]

Rut Roh! Er....Uh Oh!!!!  From Sarge & Duggie

[sollysmom]

Youse needs to gets Jade to Beau Leaky, Esquire stat.  He da best lawyer awound.  Jade innocent until pwoven guilty in court judged by her peers (whateber dat is).

Sol Da Man 

[Barb]

Run, Jade, Run for your life......  :meme:

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

Thank you all very much for reading this press bulletin.

It is I, Dr. Melvin Belli Leaky, and I am quite prepared to defend Baby Dog Jade in this salacious and defamatory accusation of damaging earphones which had fallen from the shelf in the Plaintiff's bedroom, due to a substandard installation job.  Clearly this home's general  condition will figure in our countersuit for emotional damages, including, but not limited to, pain and suffering when the aforementioned shelf fell, nearly killing my client.  And as to any mention of these earphones in court, it will be my client's contention that they struck him in the mouth when they fell, and any damage to the headphones were defensive injuries inflicted by my client who was being choked by these unsafe electronic devices.

I must go now - Mr. Parker and I are preparing a lawsuit alleging neglect and breach of promise.

THank you all very much.

Dr. Leaky

[AnnieofNJ]

That's a great defense, Dr. Leaky.  "Substandard installation", I love it!  Jade has the best attorney around.

Annie & the New Jersey Doxie Gang

[doxielady5569128]

Breaking DOX News:   

Jade has officially been charged with willfull destruction of valuable property, violent acts against inanimate objects, and willfull disobedience of da "good dog" code while a hooman was away.   

Cheif Bandit of da DPD has released da following statement...

  "I, Cheif Bandit, believe dat while some negligent action was taken on da part of da hooman inhabitants of da home, Jade still willfully destroyed a shelf and pair of EXPENSIVE headphones.  Normally we would not prosecute this form of crime in such a manner, however it was discovered dat da PRICEY headphones were a birthday gift.    In such instances, we must prosecute to da full extent of da law.   Jade is set to appear at a preliminary hearing on Sept 30th, 2008. However, if she agrees to a plea bargain she may be able to speed up the legal process."   

As many of you puppers know da hooman to dog legal system can take months if not years to find justice.   Dis is Porky Pie keeping you up to date on all da DOX news.  Stay tuned to DOX NEWS for any new information on da case.   

[Dr. Beau Leaky]

  AHEM . . .

Please be advised that Dr. Leaky is filing for a continuance, as September 30, 2008 is the first day of the Jewish holiday of Rosh HaShanah.

Further, the Muslim month of Ramadan continues until sundown on Wednesday October 1, 2008.  AND October 1, 2008 is also the second day of Rosh Hashanah.

The 19th annual Georgia National Fair begins October 2 - 12, 2008.

October 13th is Columbus Day.

October 14th is the 40th annual Canadian Federal election.

"Mamma Mia!" opens at the Peoria Civic Theatre on October 15th.

"Dracula - the Musical" opens at the Capitol Theater in Columbus, Ohio on October 16th. 

October 17-19 is the Texas Annual Jazz Festival. 

October 20, 21 and 22, 2008 are even more Jewish holidays!

I'll continue this case until everyone involved is on Social Security.

Dr. M.B. Leaky, Esq.

[peterparker]

Parker here: I think a motion for dismissal should be filed for this nonsense lawsuit. These hoomans put to much value on their possessions. They need to value whats really important - fur babies, toys and tweets.
Also, I have negotiated a settlement for my negligence issue. Here's how it goes. A new squeakie toy every week, and if I don't pee on the carpet for 6 months (this is going to be tough - winter is coming) I get a fur baby sista. Mommy wants me to potty train my sista, so she says I need to figur it out first. And I get to sit on Mommy's knee under the blankie and watch the big screen in the family room. Starts tonight - we watchin Greys. Mommy says I'll like it and Mommy says no more country club kennel till cuba (what's a cuba???) I really want a sista - I get loney when Mommy and Daddy are workin. I'm going to be a good boy for now on.

[Kathleen]

Parker, Winston here!  Be careful what you ask for dude!  I asked for a buddy to play with and my mom got me one.  He was great!  Then she got another.  That was thoroughly unnecessary but what can you do?     Then she got ANOTHER    Mom says something about chips that makes no sense, but the house (and my spot in the big bed!!!) is getting crowded 

[Teresa]

I love coming to this message board in the mornings and late at night and having a great laugh. The court case has been wonderful. I love the reasons for the continuance!!
Parker, Schatzi watches Grey's everytime it is on. She will usually sleep under the blankets when we watch TV, but when Grey's is on, she is on top of the blanket and watching it. She did the same thing tonight when it was on. I hope you enjoyed the show!

[doxielady5569128]

DOX NEWS has learned dat Jade has been arrested for an non-related crime early this morning.    The crime occurred yesterday evening at 5 pm.  Chief Bandit worked throughout the night to compile all the necessary evidence to obtain a warrant for her arrest.    At approximately 9 am Mountain time, Jade was arrested with the charge of threatening the dachshund members of the home through use of cannibalism and excessive growling.    While the member of the home we quite frightened they were not harmed in the incident.   

Here's the full story..... Last night Jade hoomans were having hot "DOGS" for supper.   :crazyeyes:    In the process of bringing them in from the grill, one was dropped on the floor.   Jade did not hesitate to "gobble it up faster than a dachshund peeing in a rainstorm."    Although the hot DOG was  a Hebrew National, the DPD viewed the eating of the hot DOG as an act of cannibalism.    While she was eating the Hebrew National hot DOG her eyes turned red and she began to growl and intimidate the dachshund members of the home.   

Jade is in talks with her new legal counsel, Labrador Sir Liechtenstein.    He is said to have German roots as well.   :dontknow:   In a shocking turn of events Dr. Beau Leaky was fired.   :crazyeyes:   Here at DOX NEWS we think Jade is "putting the nail in her own coffin."    Dr. Beau leaky could not be reached for comment on his shocking firing.    I, Porky Pie, personally feel that Dr. Beau Leaky is BY FAR da bestest lawyer in all of Dachshund Land.   We will see what occurs in the talks with Sir Liechtenstein.   

For Now, dis has been Porky Pie, 'portin' with DOX NEWS.   Keep away from dose Hot DOGS, even if dey are Hebrew National! 

[AnnieofNJ]

Thanks for the updates, Porky.  This is becoming a very interesting case.  We think you are correct that Jade is making a mistake in firing Dr. Leaky, Esq.  We think some jail time might be coming for Jade.  Plus she is risking her honorary Doxie membership.  This case could get ugly.

Annie & the New Jersey Doxie Gang