DOX NEWS- February 26, 2009

[doxielady5569128]

Reporting on location, dis is Porky Pie for DOX NEWS.   

I come to you today, from our top secwet lab, located in Nowheresville, Nebraska.    Scientist Senor Bandito Fon Frito Rodriguez (whew!), has been conducting the final research on "Da Fake-out: and Odder Hooman Contwol Devices"  for years now.    He, and his team, have perfected this method of hooman contwol.    He was joined on this project by a brand-new, baby scientist, named Jade (aka Jader Pa-Tater).   

For experiment number one, Senor Rodriguez (aka Bandit), slowly ate his food, gab da hoomans a pathetic l@@k, and den pwetended to be ill.   As he made his "urp" sounds, he observed da behavior of said hoomans.   Da youngest memeber of da household, screamed "MOM!!! THE DOG!!!"    To which da mudder weplied, "Well, put him out!  HURRY!!! HURRY!!!! HURRY!!!"   Watching dese hoomans run around like dat dewighted and inspired Senor Rodriguez and pwompted him to move on to odder methods of "Da Fake-out" 

One of his semi-successful experiments came just weeks ago.   Senor Rodriguez, instructed his protege,Jade, to carefully and safely frow her herself clumsily down da stair of da home...(er lab!)  Jade carefully and safely, executed da maneuver and made it look really really painful!    As she got up from her "fall" down 14 stairs,  she pretended to have a hurt paw.   She was a great "limper!"    Now, you may be asking why I said dis experiment was only semi-successful.    :thinik:    Upon seeing the horrible "fall" and Jade limping, da hoomans fweaked out, scooped her into dere arms, and put her in da car.  Jade was thinking, "SCORE!  A CAR RIDE!!!"     Howeber, her hopes were quickly dashed as she arrived at da vetranarian's office.        As soon as da hoomans carried her inside, she started walking just fine.  It was a miracle!     

Da above "falling" experiment is just one case of how dis method can go wrong.  So be advised, while scientists are calling it a "fool-proof ebil pwan", it can be hazardous to your psyche.    Jade needed counselling for months afterwards due to dis so called "veterinarian visit."  DOX NEWS does not support or condone dese methods of hooman contwol.   (my lawyer is begging me to say dat!)     We advise you do not impwement dese methods into your daily lives, howeber, iffen you do...you do so AT YOUR OWN RISK!     

Happy hooman contwolling my fwiends!  Until next time, dis has been Porky....(deep breath) Pie  (wif da pie emphasized!)   


My mama sez I talk like "Babwa Wawwa!!"      "Oh shoot, are we still on?!"   

[Kelly]

Glad to see dox news back!

[cheryl186]

  Oh Porky!!!  You are DELICIOUS!!!  Poor Jade....Glad everything is okay!!!

[AnnieofNJ]

Great report, Porky.  I'll be on the lookout for that kind of activity from the gang.  Hope poor Jade doesn't do that experiment again or more than her phyche could get damaged.

Annie & the New Jersey Doxie Gang

[Madderoos Mom]

Porky, you are HYSTERICAL!  I always look forward to Dox News.

[peterparker]

dis is Parker:  I agwee, you must always be careful wif the fakeout.