What's great about the holidays...

[Beth]

People can put aside their differences and come together for the sake of family.  This year we hosted Thanksgiving for our family in our new home.  Despite the stress and preparation leading up to Turkey Day, it couldn't have been more wonderful.  My parents have been divorced for over 20 years now.  Both have been remarried for about as long.  I must say that I lucked out when I got two incredible step-parents.  My parents have always been civil towards one another, most likely for the sake of us kids.  The divorce was not bitter, but there may have been some feelings of resentment buried somewhere within.  If they did not have to be in the same room or at the same function, they weren't.  I am proud of my parents because they can put aside their differences and get along.  They do it for their children and grandchildren.  They show us the importance of family, and I am so glad that Lara is getting that message.  Even when Thanksgiving was over and everyone was getting ready to go home, my mom and dad shared a hug goodbye.  I don't remember the last time that I saw that.  It touched me, and I was proud of them.

Divorce is hard on a kid.  But when parents can take the high road and be mature, it makes it a lot less painful. 

I count my blessings and I am Thankful for my family.  I am glad that Lara will learn the importance of family, just like I did.

[Barb]

It takes 2 very special parents to put aside their differences to make life easier for the kids - I applaud them !!!  Glad your holiday went so well !

[DeeanDave]

Beth, I applaud your parents and step-parents for spending the day together for the holiday and family.  I, too, am a step-parent to Dave's three.  The parents were always civil to each other but each had their holiday plans and the kids planned accordingly.  There was never any "bashing" of one parent to the other to the kids.  Two and a half years ago, in June, the kids' mom had a major medical problem and almost lost her life.  We received a call from our daughter who said Mom was on her way to the hospital via ambulance with step-dad and she and the youngest were on their way to the hospital.  Middle son was in Pullman for a Scholarship orientation.  No hesitation on our part....we got a hold of the counselors in Pullman, explained what happened and set out for the hour and a half drive (one way) to pick up our son.  This was at 7:00 at night -- we got back to Spokane around 10:30 pm and Dave and I stayed with the kids, their step-Dad, and all her family at the hospital for the night while Mom was having brain surgery.  People had a hard time understanding why we would do that.....after all, it was a "divorced situation."  We had no hesitation that we needed to be there ..... the kids needed us there.....Last year, the kids said their Mom and step-dad were spending the Thanksgiving holiday alone....both Dave and I said they didn't need to spend it alone that they could join us for dinner.  They did along with the kids.  This year, was the same.....they again joined us with the kids along with several of the kids' friends, who were staying in town for the holiday and not able to join their own families who lived out of town.

[Teresa]

That is so wonderful, Beth, and Dee, also. My prayer is that one day my niece's will get to experience this. My brother has always been positive when talking about her mom (he has primary custody-she gave it to him) and encourages my niece to be postive about the time she is at her house. Unfortunately, it doesn't work both ways. Hopefully one day maturity will set in and things will change. I have a wonderful, forgiving, 10 year old niece who is able to handle this, but many children are not. She is secure and knows that her parents both love her, but have different ways of showing it.
I'm glad your Thanksgiving was wonderful and much less stressful than it could be. That is what it is all about. In your case, Dee, you all have something to truly be thankful for. Dave's kids still have their mom around to share this dinner with, and I hope they never take that for granted.

[doxielady5569128]

That is wonderful!!   I am so glad your parents could put aside their differences and let everyone enjoy the holiday.   You are right, holidays are great for getting families together.   :apls:

[DeeanDave]

I think that at one point in their life, the kids did take for granted their folks -- even though, Dave has MS and their Mom has had health problems prior to the medical emergency -- that Mom and Dad were invincible and would always be around.  They now have learned that life is not to be taken for granted and how quickly a loved one can be taken by God.  In the case with their Mom, she survived which truly was a miracle and a long road to recovery.  I saw a life change in all three kids and they have shown a new respect towards their folks and a love that now says what can we do to help you.  They lost the "it's all me" syndrome.  For that, I am thankful especially as a step-parent.

[Teresa]

When Randy and I had our accident two years ago, it was right before Thanksgiving. One thing about it being at that time of the year, is that it reminds me each year to be thankful that I have the opportunity to spend another Thanksgiving here on earth with my family and friends. No matter what has happened during the year, it is a great time to put things in perspective and be grateful for life and the opportunity to watch Meghan continue to mature and become the person she is going to be one day. It was truly a wake-up call for us. We all have the tendency to go through life and not really savor the little things like we should. I find myself slipping back into that mode all the time, but Thanksgiving reminds me of what I have now, and what I could be missing. I'm sure Dave's kids, at some point in their lives, will realize they have learned something in the last few years that many people do not learn in a lifetime-treasure the things you have and don't take them for granted.

[Dee Dee and Hallie]

That is fantastic Beth, good for them! And Dee that doesn't surprise those of us who know you so well, a bit. You are one of the most giving people I've ever met!

I get so frustrated with families who fight during the holidays. My family was so close and got along great, now they are all gone and I would give just about anything to have them back...families need to cherish each other every time they see them, you never know when it will be the last time.

Thank goodness for my little Hallie  she is my saving grace!   

[Beth]

Dee, that is a wonderful story you told.  I am glad to see that there are more families out there like mine.  The way I see it, I have four wonderful parents instead of just two.  It sounds like your kids feel the same way about all of you.

We don't have a whole lot to spend on Christmas gifts this year, so I have decided that I'm going to write each of my parents a special letter thanking them for being the wonderful people they are.  Each letter will reference a special moment that I shared with each of them.  I want them to know how each of them has individually impacted my life.

[Roberta]

I am blessed still to have my Mum, my beloved Dad died about 20 years ago, they were everything to each other and passed it on to us kids that we all need each other in some small way. There are 4 of us, but one brother thinks himself above us now, but the other two make up for him, it is his loss. When Nick came into our family,  holidays as you call them birthdays etc were never celebrated, as he was an only child.  He said stepping into a family that family means so much to, has brought a change to him, he they never exchanged hugs when they met or left, he now without thinking hugs both mums. When his father died in 2000 my family automatically added Joan (his mother) into all our events and it is up to her if she wants to join in, but she knows she is wanted. Next Christmas we should have our other house finnished up bush near my family and we look forward to having everyone over to our place. But the biggest thing in our family is our pets, they are part of the family.

here's to a very merry christmas.

roberta
Dee Dee you are part of a very big family that is spread around the world, most of our kids have four legs