From our local paper:
County Recommends Reduction in Size of K-9 Units
ROCKVILLE, MD â€" With Montgomery County facing an unprecedented budget crisis, one of the recommended cost savings measures has been the reduction of the size of the County's 46 K9 units. However, this reduction in size will not affect the number of police K9s available. According to the Montgomery Office of Restructuring Organizational Needs (MORON), the County can save an estimated $875,000 per year by reducing the actual size of the K9s while keeping the number of K9 units the same. . Gone will be the familiar German Shepherds and Labrador Retrievers. They will replaced by Miniature Dachshunds for the search and apprehension role and Yorkshire Terriers for the drug sniffing role.
MORON Chairman Lacey Patfield explains "By reducing the size of the actual dog, we can significantly reduce the costs involved: Food, medical and day-to-day care costs are significantly reduced if you reduce the size of the dog. Not to mention having far less dog doo to dispose of." Patfield claims that the smaller dogs can do everything the bigger dogs can. When asked how a miniature dachshund is supposed to apprehend a potentially dangerous criminal, Patfield answered "Well, first of all, the dachshunds are so awfully cute, who's going to resist them? But, if the criminal decides to run or resist, they will be on the receiving end of a very painful ankle bite. Anyone who has experienced an Achilles Tendon injury can attest to just how painful ankle injuries can be." Patfield continues "With smaller dogs, we can give the citizens of Montgomery County the same level of service at a reduced cost".
Officer reaction was mixed. Some officers interviewed felt that using smaller dogs would add risk to the dog as well as officers on the ground. "There's a reason we use German Shepherds" one officer commented. Other officers supported the move saying that smaller dogs "are just really cute, and now we don't have to worry about stepping in a huge pile of dog (expletive deleted).".
Local dachshund breeder Rich Elmark is thrilled about the report. It is big business for him. The County has already contracted with Elmark for the next several litters from his prize winning dachshunds to become the nucleus of the new dachshund police dog force. "This is great!" Elmark said. "Now my dogs can go and bite someone else besides the neighbors' obnoxious kid and not have to worry about Animal Control coming for a visit".
When asked to comment on this, the County Executive said "Don't you realize what day this is? It's April 1st. This is just an April Fools' joke."
OR IS IT????!!!!!.
LOL - you sure had me going !!!! Hmmmmmm, sounds like a GREAT plan to me !!!! :thumb:
Cute. Thanks for sharing.
Hey now don't laugh!
One of the Sheriff's department here in Tennessee uses a drug sniffing Dachshund to search the schools for drugs.
This so KEWL! :meme:
i already have experience biting ankles--- :feedme:
Are you referring to your "rap sheet" when you were busted for attacking a neighbor's twill pants? When you spent 10 days in the slammer in solitary? You want to go for two on this one???!??? :police:
Um . . . never mind . . . back to bed. Bye!! :bolt:
Thanks, but no thanks. Besides, shouldn't the snuffling dachshunds be on Sniffer Patrol? Let the Yorkies hang off peoples' legs!!
Auntie Keren :sunny:
LOL!!!! Love it!
That was HYSTERICAL!! :2funny: