...this is Zeke and Zora. We heard that you wanted to shut down a place called Guantanamo Bay because there was torture going on there. Rather than shut down that faraway place, we'd rather have you shut down our hooman's bathroom. There's torture going on there, too. Consider these nefarious acts:
1. Ear potato harvesting: Hooman takes an implement of torture called a "Q-Tip" and puts it into dachshund's ear, extracting large quantities of ear potatoes from said ear. Sometimes it can take up to six "Q-Tips" per ear (for Zeke). Zora usually gets away lucky with no more than 2 "Q-Tips" per ear. Can you imagine this?
2. Dental torture: Hooman will use his fingernail to scrape tartar away from our teeth. Then he takes another torture implement called a "toothbrush" and begins brushing said teeth. Oh, the humanity!
3. This one is the worst of all. It's almost too humiliating to tell: The Butt Squeeze. Hooman points us towards him so we can't escape, he lifts our tail...and...and...<choking up>...he squeezes our butt until stinky stuff comes out of it!
Then, to make things worse, he takes us on a trip to another location to get our toes chopped.
So, in conclusion, Mr. President, we humbly seek your help in closing this hideous location of torture. Oh, if you can cut our hoomans in on some part of the Stimulus Package, we'd appreciate that, too. You know, our dog dishes don't stay full by themselves!
Your pals,
Zeke & Zora
:2funny: :chairfall:...Oh David....you are sooo funny :funnyup:
Quote from: David C. on February 25, 2009, 06:23:25 PM
...this is Zeke and Zora. We heard that you wanted to shut down a place called Guantanamo Bay because there was torture going on there. Rather than shut down that faraway place, we'd rather have you shut down our hooman's bathroom. There's torture going on there, too. Consider these nefarious acts:
So, in conclusion, Mr. President, we humbly seek your help in closing this hideous location of torture. Oh, if you can cut our hoomans in on some part of the Stimulus Package, we'd appreciate that, too. You know, our dog dishes don't stay full by themselves!
Your pals,
Zeke & Zora
:evil5: Dear Mr. Zeke and Ms. Zora:
Regret to inform, no can do. However accomodations at Guantánamo will be available at again rates for dependents of Park Police Volunteer Bicycle Patrol. Have taken liberty of submitting your names for reservations, with result you two are first on list. Please advise as soon as you are packed. :book1:
Dr. David Petraeus Leaky :icon_salut:
General, US Army
Commander, CENTCOMM
David, that's PRICELESS! :2funny:
LOL!!! :funnyup:
:2funny: :funnyup:
Awwwwww Z's - daddy is just doing his very best to keep you healthy !!!! Auntie Barb is proud that he can do all that himself !!!! :apls: