:doah: Just when thought it was settling down....it comes back again. My husband's sister needs a place to live for a month. She got kicked out of the house she was living in because she mouthed off to the ladies in charge one too many times.
She had gone to a funeral and was told to be back by 6. Well the funeral got over at 5 and it was an hour long drive to get back home. So...she called and asked if she and a friend could get something to eat since they were going to be late anyway. They say no, just come on home and we'll give you supper when you get here. She decides to go eat anyway and gets mad when she gets back and gets in trouble. She starts yelling at them and cussing at them. Then the next morning they ask her to do the laundry in her room and she refuses because its her roommate's turn. Then she gets told to pack up her things and leave.
Now, she is asking to come live with us for a month until her wedding. :doah: I really don't know what to do. :dontknow: She claims she has no money to pay rent, etc...yet she keeps bragging about how she's going to spend a lot of money on her honeymoon. Her parents already said no she could't live with them. Mainly because they don't want to deal with the drama. My husband feels really bad about telling her no and wants to let her live with us. I love him for wanting to help her, but wouldn't we just be teaching her to go ahead and get in trouble and we'll bail her out? I need some advice her. What would you do in this situation? Am I being cold-hearted by saying let her figure this one out on her own? Please help! Thanks!!
I don't think you should let her stay with you. I am surprised her parents are stepping up. And where is her fience? Can he help out any? Talk about problems. I sure wouldn't want to be in that position you are in. So sorry to hear about this especially when you just moved in and are sick!! I am pulling for you.
Mel
If her parents don't want to let her live with them, and her roommates want her out, why should she live with you? Are you immune from the pain she inflicts? If not, the answer must be "no." I realize hse has problems, but in order to solve these problems, her loved ones must stop insulating her from the consequences. If not, she can continue to act any crappy way she wants and someone will always bail her out.
As for not being able to afford a place, that just sounds like bmeadow muffins to my ears. With only a month until the wedding, she and her fiance must line up a place to live anyway. If they have not done so, then she can do it now. If they have a place, then she can live there. If she must scale back her honeymoon then so be it. We had to scale back our honeymoon plans when expenses got to be too much, and guess what? It wasn't the end of the world. it wasn't even the end of our engagement. We had a beautiful wedding, some special time together afterwards, and we have been married 16 years going on a lifetime. Honeymoons are not special because of where you go, they are special because of who you are with.
Sounds like it's time for some tough love. People who refuse to act responsibly often do so because they have always been able to get someone to "bail them out". There is little point in fostering this behavior. As Dr. Phil says "Why is she doing this? Because she CAN."
Don't let her stay with you. You just got your life all settled and peaceful. Let her fiance take care of her. And don't feel guilty, save guilt for when YOU actually do something wrong.
It IS time for her to start figuring life out on her own. How is she going to be a responsible spouse if she can't depend on herself? Why is she spending money on a wedding an honeymoon, if she can't even pay rent. Take a break - think of yourself first !
Don't do it!! Sounds like trouble waiting to move in!! Having spent the last 3 weeks in dramaland i don't recommend it. stick to your guns, sounds like she is a loser. Sorry if this sounds harsh but drama Queens are the worst
Thanks everyone. I feel much better about us telling her no. :apls: She's hopping couch to couch at her friend's homes right now. Besides, she gets married in a month, its time she takes reponsibility for herself. Thanks again for the advice and support!
As we say in OZ "good on ya mate" for standing up to her.
Roberta
Thanks Roberta! Unfortunately, her parents ended up giving in to her. They went and saw the place where she ws living and took pity on her because it was filthy. Personally, I think it would have been good for her to live like that for a few weeks. I think she'd learn her lesson and do some growing up faster if they wouldn't have bailed her out yet again. :rolleyes: They have been her safety net for so long, she is growing up to be a 19 year old spoiled rotten brat!
I look back and remember what I was doing at her age. I was still living with my mom and dad, not because I wanted to, but beause they needed help paying bills. I was working 80 hours a week during the summer as a nanny for two young girls and during the school year, I was attending college and working 50 hours a week at a bookstore. I can't imagine how my life would be if I hadn't learned the importance of working hard and helping support your family. I thank God I have the parents I do that taught me to work hard and think of more people besides myself. :apls: