PET RULES
>
> {To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.}
>
>
> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
>The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
>paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
>it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
>pleasing in the slightest.
>
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
>fall faster than you can run.
>
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
>sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
>ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
>they sleep.
>It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
>to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
>straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
>space is nothing but sarcasm.
>
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
>If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
>is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
>paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
>the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
>-- canine or feline attendance is not required.
>
>
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
>I cannot stress this enough!
>
>
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message
>on our front door:
>
>
> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>
>
>
> 1. They live here. You don't.
>
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
>(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
>
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>
> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
>son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak
>clearly.
>
>
>
> Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids
>because
>they:
>
> 1. Eat less
>
> 2. Don't ask for money all the time
>
> 3 Are easier to train
>
> 4. Normally come when called
>
> 5. Never ask to drive the car
>
> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
>
> 7. Don't smoke or drink
>
> 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
>
> 9. Don't want to wear your clothes
>
> 10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
>
>
> And finally,
>
>
> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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LOL that is great! :2funny:
:2funny: THIS IS NO DOUBT THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME!!! :2funny:
ONE LAST RULE - if your pets finally get on your last nerve, you can call breed rescue and they get a new forever home!
Karen :funnyup:
"Hey, Hey HEY!!! THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!" :cussing:
(Stop reading my posts, Merlin, I don't mean you!)
Just a little rebut...
1. Eat less - dachshunds!! are you kidding?
3. Are easier to train - dachshunds!! are you kidding?
4. Normally come when called - see above...
5. Never ask to drive the car- this one holds up, goforarides mean YOU have to the drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends- here kitty, kitty...get out of the catnip!!!
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions - I'll let Delia or DeeDee answer this one
9. Don't want to wear your clothes - wear - no, sleep on - yes
This is great! I just spit water all over my computer screen laughing! Thanks for sharing!
ROTFL Mike.
You have learned well from Clifford. :thumb:
LOL - very cute !!! I have this printed out somewhere and had intended to frame it someday !!!!
Hey - you mean you are supposed to go into the bathroom by YOURSELF????? This is a prime petting and kissing zone.....mom is sitting down - HAHAAHAHAHAHA !!!!
I'm like you Barb, I keep meaning to frame this. I've got some other stuff to print out, so I'm going to make myself a note on my desktop and maybe I'll actually do it this time.
As for the bathroom, Schatzi definitely thinks I need to have company there. She also LOVES to help me dry off after a shower. The feet and ankles get licked and then she waits for me to put down the damp towel for her to roll on and often times get herself tangled up in. Of course, if she doesn't show up, I miss her, at least a little!
The bathroom one I can relate to, plus add the leaning against the shower door while your in just to make sure you don't escape. '
Roberta