Well, I'm mindin' my own bizness, when Mom comes with my leash and starts sweet-talkin' me, "Guinness. Oh, Guinness. Come on, Schnitzel." That's one of my nicknames - you can call me anything, just don't call me late for dinner! So I go prancin' over to Mom who snaps on my leash and we're off on a ride in a cab.
Now that Mom has figured out that the cabbies don't mind wiener dogs in the cab, we've been goin' places. The next thing I know, we're at Petco. Usually I like goin' there, but when Mom suddenly turned right just as she walked in, I dug all four paws into the carpet. OH, NO, NOT THE GROOMERS - TOE CHOPPIN' ALERT! Mom keeps callin' it a "pedicure" but I don' know about any "curin'" goin' on! There's two really fat pugs checkin' out at the cash registers, so Mom let me go over for a little meet 'n' greet, then the next thing I know she's got me in the door to the groomer. Well, how bad could it be? I was just here two weeks ago for a toe chop, but when the lady groomer told Mom how my quicks were too long for a good trim and she should come back in two weeks, I didn' think she meant I HAD to come back in two weeks! But here I am and guess what? The nice lady groomer isn' here. Some man is here and Mom is talkin' to him like he's a nice person. So maybe it'll be o.k. Mom tells him I bite and need to be muzzled. Really, what is her deal?
But the next thing I know, Mom leaves me with the man while she goes to the Safeway, and while I won't go into the gory details, I gets my toes practically AMPUTATED an' then I get put in a kennel to wait for Mom.
So when Mom comes to get me, I figure I got my chance to get even with this groomer guy. He comes back to the kennel, opens the door and reaches in for me. I missed the artery in his wrist by a whisker! Man, that guy has good reflexes! He slams the kennel door shut, turns around an' puts on these gloves like the ones Arabs wear in the desert so birds of prey won't rip the flesh off their arms! Then here we go AGAIN! This time he's got me by the neck and torso and I'm tryin' my best to tear him to pieces, but I can' get my teeth near him. But let me tell you, it wasn' for lack of tryin'!
Mom is at the counter lookin' mortified. I'm thinkin' "you better be mortified, leavin' me here an' all." But she's embarrassed because I'm tryin' to kill the groomer!!!! What IS her deal???
AN' then this guy has the NERVE to say she should come back in ANOTHER two weeks for one more "trim" and then go back to a more normal schedule.
I hope Mom finds a dachshund to bring with her in two weeks, 'cause folks, it ain' gonna be yours truly!
Guinness :bootyshake:
Oh No! Well it is a good thing you tried to teach the groomer man a lesson! Hopefully she will forget that you need to go back!!
That whole post was hilarious! :funnyup:
This line had me rolling:
QuoteGuinness. Oh, Guinness. Come on, Schnitzel." That's one of my nicknames - you can call me anything, just don't call me late for dinner!
SOunds like Cookie! LOL
How Funny!!! Now, I don't feel so bad about Ozzy's behavior last week. I've been having him roll over on his back and have been handling his feet every day. He is now getting to the point of almost going to sleep while I rub his feet and handle his toenails. Hopefully his next visit to the groomers will be a little better.
Oh my! You did tell them Guinness bites, so don't feel bad about it. I do hope the groomer's OK though. I've been bitten by Gretchen and the skin was broken but it was on my hand, not wrist. Was a treat offered to poor 'Schnitzel'? That might make it better. Also is it possible to wait with him while his nails get chopped?
ROTFL. I hate to laugh...it probably wasn't funny at the time but you do tell a good story Karen!
Augh I do hate that we have to do these "mean" things to them. If only they knew it was for their own good. Hallie sez she empathizes, she is not only scheduled for me to trim her nails tomorrow but I've also been scraping her teeth! She's so good but she has perfected the l@@k in spades! And the famous "oh I love you so much mommy I just have to give you some kisses right this very minute" ploy in the middle of the "procedure" (the ol' distract Mom from doing the deed). I have to admit, that one usually works. :heart: