Wiener Writings

Wiener Writings => Off Topic / NDR => Topic started by: Jenny G on March 08, 2007, 03:07:30 PM

Title: Dogs vs Cats
Post by: Jenny G on March 08, 2007, 03:07:30 PM
I don't have a cat, but I know this is true of Berman and Lucy!

Excerpts from Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."  I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now.
Title: Re: Dogs vs Cats
Post by: cheryl186 on March 08, 2007, 04:05:08 PM

i know exactly what you are talking about....it is sooooo true.  i have three dogs and five cats and that is EXACTLY how the cats act   :2funny:
Title: Re: Dogs vs Cats
Post by: Doxherding Karen on March 08, 2007, 05:20:15 PM
As it said in a catalogue I once got in the mail: "Dogs have owners.  Cats have staff."

And my other favorite: "Egyptians once worshipped cats as gods.  Cats have never forgotten this." :bowdown:
Title: Re: Dogs vs Cats
Post by: Kari on March 08, 2007, 08:43:41 PM
That cracks me up!!  :2funny:
Title: Re: Dogs vs Cats
Post by: roisinmarie on March 11, 2007, 12:06:27 PM
he he its so true i have 3 dogs and 2 cats and that is exactly how they act. i know that some dachs don't like cats but mine gets on witht he cats okay they are not afraid of each other and walk past each other when needed