I would like to first of all thank all of you who have sent emails and been so wonderful through this. I hope I am able to explain this. Please bear with me as my mind is a bit scattered.
I have made a decision. I have spoken with the behaviorist that was suggested by my vet. I have also discussed it further with our vet.
This is truly the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. The big problem here is that the attacks are completely and totally unprovoked. The nature of the attacks are particularly violent. When Toby did this he was NOT the same dog. Whatever causes this I will probably never know. What I do know is that I cannot let this happen again. I have three children who hopefully will be having children of there own in the next few years. We have a lot of company and I also have two other dogs to consider. I adore Toby. With me he is the sweetest boy. Certainly not what I saw on Sunday night or on the other occasions where he has bit. He did not just nip and run away or let go. He kept biting. It was absolutely horrifying. I relive it constantly.
I have decided that a life in a crate is not what I want for him. I know my Toby and to crate him like that would be a horrible life for him. He would be sad and isolated. I do not believe that is in his best interest. I believe that I have done everything I can do and for some reason it is simply not enough. I believe that he cannot help his behavior but I cannot justify putting another family member, friend or stranger in a dangerous situation. That being said, I think that with every single thing that happens we learn lessons. I know that I have learned so much from my Toby. I have learned that love has an amazing healing power. I have learned patience. Now I need to let him go. Because it is what is best for Toby. I truly believe that.
My friend who was injured will be gone for the night and the day tomorrow. We will pick up Toby up this afternoon at the SPCA where he is in isolation. He will come home with us for the evening and he will have all of the treat his heart desires and he will sleep with me in the big bed . Tomorrow morning he will have bacon (his favorite) for breakfast and we will take him to the vets office. I want to hold him and I want him to feel all the love I have for him as he crosses over the bridge. I want mine to be the last face he sees.
I hope I can do this. I know it is the right thing. I have prayed and prayed on this. I hope that you understand and support the decision. Thank you all. Please say a prayer for my Toby.
Terri
What a heartbreaking decision to have to make. What you have described is a neurological problem that occurs in dogs that as yet there is no explanation for. It is truly heart-rending, because as you have described, between "spells" the dog may be a wonderful pet. If you believe, as many do, that a dog can be "aware" in a sense similar to how we are "aware" this must be a nightmare for the dog as well. Imagine yourself being violently out of control and harming the ones you love. Of course a life of protective imprisonment for Toby would be no life at all. Your preparations will make sure that Toby crosses to the bridge knowing that he is loved and cherished.
My eyes are full of tears for you, and my prayers will be with you and Toby in this most difficult time. Lean on us here on the board. Many hearts will be with you through this ordeal.
I am crying and my heart is broken for you and your family. I know that this is the hardest decision for you... Please know you are in my thoughts.
I am also sitting here crying because of this dificult decision. I agree that a life in a crate is not fair and that you are doing what is best for yourself, others and especially Toby. Please know that we are here and are shedding tears of sympathy and understanding for you and the difficult decision. :heart: {{HUGS}}
Terri, all things considered, I feel you are doing the right thing. If love was all it took to make this situation better, your love for Toby would do it. I agree that life in a crate is no life for any dog. Also, due to the unprovoked nature of the attacks, it would be impossible to pinpoint what is setting Toby off and fix it.
We had a horse who had been abused in rodeos, and although we eventually won her trust, every once in a while she would just short-circuit and start bucking. I got thrown twice, then she'd just stand there and wait for me to get back on so we could continue our ride. They never forget their past completely.
You CAN do this for Toby, you can be there with him and for him. Just remember, this is about Toby and not anyone else. He needs you to be strong and help him go peacefully. Its really the greatest gift you can give him.......taking away his pain and putting it on your back. Try to be as calm as possible and help Toby feel secure and loved when you're at the vet.
I feel what I am saying here is so inadequate. This is a sad situation, no two ways about it. When I had to put my doxie Harry down due to old age, my vet first gave him a shot to put him under, as if her was going under for surgery, then he gave the other shot. It made for a very peaceful passing. It was the second time I had to have a dog put to sleep. I would never consider not being there, no matter how hard it was. I know I'd feel like I let them down in the end if I wasn't there.
Hang in there, kiddo, we're all here for you. I'm crying with you. When something sad happens to a doxie here, its as if its happening to one of my own.
Oh Terri - I like all the others am crying so hard it is hard to type. What a heartwrenching decision for you to have to make. But you have done it out of love for Toby and for your family. Like Patty said, if love could heal this - Toby would be ok. But his demons have taken over and I pray that you find comfort in knowing that those demons will not follow him to Rainbow Bridge. He will find peace there.
We will all stand beside you in spirit tomorrow as you go through this and will pray for strength for you and your family.
Love,
Barb
Terri, I feel your pain, but respectfully disagree with your decision. Meeko, doesn't live her life in a "crate". I have 5 kids ranging in age from 26 years to 10 3/4, they have friends over all the time. We simply ask that they leave the dog alone, and when small kids are here, I crate her or put her im my room. I have lived with this twice now, and kept both dogs and Princess lived to be 16, and I had small kids then, and Meeko is happy and loved at age 11. She weighs 86 pounds and I can and do contol her and what contact she has with "outsiders", and my kids give her room and we are doing fine. I would not put her to sleep and fought the county when she did bite the stranger and won. Sometime soon, I hope to have grandchildren too and I'll still keep my dog!
I'd take him, but you probably won't let him go for safety reasons. I have kids too, can you try to find him a home with someone who lives alone or something. I am sorry for your trouble and know you are a nice person. I have rescued large dangerous dogs in the past and have won their hearts and I would try some other things before putting him down. I'm sorry! I do however wish you peace in your decision! Dottie
Terri, my heart is aching for you but, sweetie, I believe you have made a wise decision. As heartbreaking as it is, this is best for Toby and you and your family. Like it's been stated, if love could cure it all, Toby would be in the best of health. Unfortunately, sometimes we just can't LOVE the problem into submission. A virtual hug your way. I, along with everyone here, sits in front of my monitor with tears in my eyes. Bless you for being unselfish. Bless you for being a GOOD Mom.
Terri, my heart aches fpor you, and I am crying as I type this, but it sure sounds like this is in Toby's best interests. I think it is wonderful that you are giving him his special night and big treat in the morning before he is sent off to the Bridge. :comfort: We are sending rays for your strength and courage in this tough time.
What ever you do its with us all behind you.
Big hugs
da gang