Iz being negwected....

[doxielady5569128]

Dear fellow puppers,

I am writing to inform youz all dat I am one abused and negwecteded pupper.    I will need da 'ssistance of Sir Beau Leak and da Herd.   My mama has been in dis school fing since last September.       I was understanding and let her get it all done, eben dough it took her until April to finish!!!    :crazyeyes:    Wez was all excited to hab her done wif dat school fing.  So...you'd fink my days would be filled wiff 100% of her 'ttention again right?!!   

WRONG!!!  Now, she is busy telling me she has to take dese tests to get a job.  WHAT?!  School is done, why more tests?!    Iz mad at dis.   And to top it off she has dis fing she likes to go bisit.  I don't know what's so special about dis fing because it smells funny and makes squeaky noises.      Plus it cwies weally loud!!!     I do hab to say dat whateber it is, is pwetty warm and cuddly.    Mama sez its called a nephew.  Whateber dat is???   She pwomises me dat he will hab free tweats for me in no time, but it hasn't happened yet.    As long as he leabs room on my mama's lap I can tolerate him.    He has dis pillow fingy (a Boppy) dat he lets me share wif him and I like dat!!!    Onwy fing I can't do is lick dis fing or get in his face.       Da hoomans don't like dat.   

Den all dis week she's been torturing me!!!!   Its bad enuff I hab to get dese allergy baffs once a week.   Now, she's checking my toes ebery morning.  Den if dey need chopped she does.   I just wanna know what she wants wif my toes!!!       After dat hoomiliation, she bwushes my teef.  Ouch!!! I hate dat!!!!     Da worst part is..... at bafftime, she has learned how to squeeze my butt!!!    :crazyeyes: 

Soz... iffen any of youz hab a mama dis mean, youz can join my lawsuit against da negwectful pawents.   I mean a guy deserves more den 20 hours of snuggles a day doesn't he?!    Sheesh....


Porky Pie

[Doxherding Karen]

Poor, poor Porky!

I'll let Dr. Leaky know you are getting everything together for a class action suit. :thumb:  In the meantime:

Nephews are tiny hoomans.  Once they grow bigger you can play with them.  Then they start pulling your ears and tail!  You have to be patient with them.  They LOVE giving treats, they spend a lot of time dropping cookies and peanut butter sandwiches and you are just the right height to snarf, snarf, snarf.  And Boppies are the BEST!!

As for the toes and fur and teeth and tush, I'll let Dr. Leaky handle that end - er, that is, ALL those items !

And Momma will finish those nasty tests and get a great job, then boy, howdy!  It's treat time for Mr. Pi.

Auntie Karen

[Dee Dee and Hallie]

Poor Porky!! Your life is ruff for sure. Those hooman puppies can be sorta fun sometimes because my momma holds me and keeps me up high away from them so I don't get squashed, poked, pulled, stomped, fallen upon, hit, yanked, etc. It sort of makes me feel extra special. Once my little cousin crawled over and even tho my mom was right there he was lightning fast and grabbed a fist full of my throat hair and PULLED. Mom was so proud of me because all I did was quietly go "ow ow ow ow" but I didn't move a muscle and waited for her to fix it and she did. Since then she doesn't let me on the floor if we are around bald puppies. I just put on a Queenly expression. In your case you could use a Kingly one.

I'm not sure how to help you with the other problem of yer Mom taking tests, maybe you could eat her homework?

[klsb]

Fin Says: Porky you should come lib wif me!!! My momma doesnt do dat stuff to me. Well she cuts my toes eberyonce in a while but i dont mind too much cyz i know i gets a big tweat afterwards.

Plus i like takin baffs.

I hab a cat we can chace, and lotsa doggie nebors... and my momma lubs snugglin allll da time. Eben when she is busy i just make cute eyeballs at her and she stops ad lubs me!!

[Kelly]

Porky Pie:Dis is Arnie,Blusky,Cinni&Fritz in Illinois! We sez revolt ! If you no lomger git any tention from yours Momma we want you to get on big thing called a greyhound bus and come to our house! You'll get lots&lots of ATTENTION at our house! Oh before we forget when you go and get your bus ticket tell the nice ticket people that its a mergency that you gots to get to Illinois!

[peterparker]

dis is Parker: you can also come libs wif me. I has a huge water bowl in my yards, an lots of birds and squirrels to chase. I only gets bafs once in a while.
I gets to go to da puppy parks free times a week. Dere is lots of fwnds dere dat look just like us. Dere is pugs, and mops, an nasty jacks. We don't like da jacks - they is toooooooooo wild. Dey ususally go ober to da big puppy side and dere are some weally big puppies.
Also be warned.....once day school fing is done, den comes da "off to work" fing. My Momma goes dere ebery day almost an lebs me in da basement. All dere is in da basement is a couch, tv, and my bed. Oh and toys, food and water. Is a long day. I am fulls of p and vinegar when dey gets home.

[doxielady5569128]

Iz got lots of my mama's time last night acuz wez had dat bad wedder stuff again.  Wez sat in da tub for an hour!!!   :crazyeyes:  Dat was okay wif me dough, cuz I gots snuggles.       My mama has been bedda now dat she has da paperwork stuff done.   She is "in talks" wiff a company dat wants her to work nights soo...wez would be able to cuddle all day while she's sleeping.   Pwus its working fwom home.    :apls:   Iffen fings keep impwoving, I will put my lawsuit on hold.  Fanks for all da kind help and offers for a pwace to stay.   

Porky Pie