DOX NEWS March 24, 2009

[doxielady5569128]

Weird Weadder Makes Puppers Weirder

Dis is Porky Pie, portin' for DOX NEWS.    I'm hear to do some portin' on our latest storm and some weird 'havior in da puppers who experienced it.

  Dere was a rash of biting Doxies on Sunday ebening and Monday morning.   First, I am ashamed to admit, I bit da neighbor.  Den late Sunday night, about midnight, Jade bit her owner for no apparent reason.      Now, she's not a Doxie, but she's got da German in her blood.    Den early Monday morning, Bandit was allegedly in bed with his hooparents when da hoodaddy made an attempt to grab da sacwed bone!    Okay, so da hoodaddy allegedly didn't grab it, he rolled ober in bed, but hey...dats a freat to da bone right??!    :crazyeyes:    So....At 4 am mountain time, Bandit allegedly bit da elbow of said hooman.    Said hooman was not happy to be awakened and responded by yelling and picking Bandit up.   Bandit was scared and being da incontinent one, he pwoceeded to pee all ober da hoomama (who was still sleepin) and da bed.      Bandit is due in court tomorrow.     :verdict:

Den today I had to go out to do my business and got caught in a Snow-Nado.   Yestaday we had da Funder-Snow, so I guess da next logical fing to show up would be a Snow-Nado.   Iffen you don't know what dat is I'll splain it.    Iffen you hab eber seen a dirt devil, you know kind of what a 'nado looks like.  Den make dat Nado outta snow instead of Dust.  You got yerself a Snow-Nado.     My mama sez I'm jus' being dwamatic, but hey...when you're onwy a foot tall, dem fings look HUGE!!    Da Snow-Nado (snow debil??) was as tall as my mama.    Oh, and it knocked me down!  While I was twying to get dis news stowy done.   Now don't cha feel sorry for me?!   See what I go frough to bring you da news????!!       

Bandit: GO TO COMMERCIAL NOW!!! HE'S HAVING A BREAKDOWN!!!!  :idiot:

Jade:  A Duh....yes boss!  :scratch:

I hope you enjoyed today's news.      Until next time, dis has been Porky Pie wif DOX NEWS.     

[cheryl186]

Oh Porky Pie...you poor baby...dat is enough to make anybody cwazy :crazyeyes: :crazyeyes:  Here's hoping your weather calms down a bit and you don't get knocked over anymore.... :xfinger:  ps:  It's time to take a nap and mebbe get another bwocolli tweat from yore momma!!

[DeeanDave]

Wow, Porky......you've had some rough days!  Sarge & Duggie say hang in there......and that it is snowing here in Greenacres today.

[peterparker]

dis is Parker: I has had nuf snow thank you very much. I can even sees my swimmin pools. NO SNOW FOR CANADA PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Also, Porky.....I fink your momma and my momma been talking. I now gets a teenie weenie morsel of food for breakfast, and a teenie weenie morsel of food for supper. Momma says she had to let my harness out two notches, and that I'm getting a wittle chubby.
I'm NOT CHUBBY. I jus wanna look more like a sausage then a weiner.

I'm Hungry!!!!......send food pweez.

[doxielady5569128]

Parker,
Dis diet fing is no fun.  Tell yer mama iffen she doesn't feed you, you'll go on stwike!   Dats what I told my mom and she started feeding me some green beans between my little snacks, dat she is calling meals.       Also I fink it helped dat she took me to da....dare I say it???....da vet and getted me weighed again.   I onwy gots 4 ounces more to lose!!    :apls:  Da vet said since my tummy has been rumbly she could gib me da beans and healfy tweats. 

Anodder good twick is to stand by your food container and cwy.  Den gib her da saddest look you can find.   Let her know wif your eyes, dat you are jus' wasting away and hold HER wesponsible.   I hope dese tips help you out.   

Good Luck Buddy,
Porky Pie