How about hooman obedience class?

[Doxherding Karen]

Dr. Leaky here - not to be rude or anything, but the real training is for da hoomans.  Der's a guy named Jon Katz who writes books about his fur babies - border collies and labs, but he's still an O.K. guy.  He wrote Katz on Dogs (hah, hah) and he says that people need training and lots of it and it's a lifelong committment.  You gotta work with us every day, every week, like forever(!!!) to get us trained and keep us trained.

My hooman thinks he's pretty smart.  He doesn't like nasty trainers, or rough guys, and that's good for wieners, 'cause we don't respond well to yelling, or jerking our collar, or being mean.  I mean, I got da Eeyore L@@k down to an art form, for pete's sake!

[Sandishooligans]

Ahem!  Respectfully speaking, Doctor, but aren't you just a tad spishus of a trainer named Katz?  BTW, my hoomans call me Eeyore too.  Well, isn't it true that the dish is ALWAYS half empty?

There.  Posting this was quite an effort.  I am still feeling under the weather, so I'm going back to bed. 

Good to meetcha.

Dolly