Possessiveness

Jenny G · January 09, 2006, 11:17:18 AM

Berman got a new toy on Saturday and I got Lucy a new toy on Sunday. Berman will NOT let Lucy play with her new toy. He takes all his toys and lays with them and tries attacking Lucy if she tries to get one. He even growled at me last night when I tried to pick him up to tuck him in bed. He's done this before with other toys - become completely obesesed. We had to wait till he wasn't around then take the toy and put it up.

I don't want to deprive Lucy of toys because Berman is being a jerk. Any ideas on how to get Berman to share?

Charlie · January 09, 2006, 12:07:57 PM

I'd be interested to hear possible solutions to this one as well. Charlie does this with his rawhides. I either choose not to give them to either of my pups any more or place them in two different rooms divided by the baby gate.

Roberta · January 09, 2006, 12:52:01 PM

Oliver is the one with the ITS MINE syndrome and it ususally with any toy that sqeaks, we got round it by desqueaking.
Sounds as if he is being very dominant even to you, may need a I'm boss routine for a few days, with Oliver it was not letting him do anything unless I said he could , ie come sit and wait every so oftenans he had to stay.
Roberta

TerriL · January 09, 2006, 02:10:45 PM

Buelah is pretty possessive about her toys...and Oscy and Toby's toys as well. She will take them away and get a little aggressive if they want them back.
When I get a new toy for them I try to give them the toys all at the same time. One to each. When she has managed to get the squeeker out of hers ( she is the QUEEN of squeeker removal), she will usually try to get the other toys. I then take her to another room with her own toys and tell her no. I had to repeat the process several times until she grasped it but now she is pretty good about it. I still have to isolate her but when she comes out of the quiet room with her toys she tends to stay away from the others.

Nikki · January 09, 2006, 03:26:58 PM

I agree with Roberta that Berman may need to be shown "who's the boss". None of my pups are allowed to growl at me. I can take food out of their mouth's, toys away from them, anything and I will not tolerate a growl. When and if they ever did growl at me, I would grab the ruff of the back of the neck (like their mom would) and bend my body over them in a very dominate stance and tell them no very firmly. Then I would make them follow several commands, like Roberta said. I never do anything to physically harm them. The grabbing of the neck ruff is not hard enough to hurt them. You can't let them get away with growling at you. You have to immediately show them you are the alpha and you will not tolerate it.

Jen · January 09, 2006, 05:25:52 PM

Around my house if you cannot play nice with toys then plain and simple you don't get them. All toys are mine... i can giveth and i can taketh away!! If *I* the alpha dog want a toy i CAN and WILL take it away if i get any sort of growling or resistance i will tell them in a stern voice "DROP IT" if i still get resistance i will repeat i rarely have had to go beyond this command with any of my dogs. First rule is ALL toys are MINE! Since i have been doing this with my guys since puppyhood i am able to leave toys and chewies out and have no fights. They learn to respect each other and above all ME! You can try this command but i would also recommend some obedience training classes to help you assert youself as the Alpha of the pack.

Jen

Marcia from MI · January 09, 2006, 06:21:07 PM

I have had no problems with Sam and Eddie because like Jen ALL toys are MINE and if there are any problems the toys are put away until they can play nicely.

Sully Angel was another story - Sully would sit in the middle of the livingroom with all his chewies around him. When one of the cats would walk through Sully would put his paw on top of the nearest one and growl at them.

Dee Dee and Hallie · January 09, 2006, 06:36:32 PM

I agree. I would never ever let my dog growl at me. It has never happened yet and I can't imagine Hallie growling at anyone and meaning it but if she did, she'd be upside down so fast with a yelling mommy in her face she wouldn't know what hit her. As others have said, no hurting but just mimicking what would happen in a pack in the wild. You should never have to wait for Berman to leave the room before you take his toy...he should see you take it and learn that is OK because you are alpha. You might try the exchange trick, if he's chewing a chew or playing with a toy, exchange a cookie for the object he has. Then give it back to him on your terms, and take it on your terms. If it's a bad problem you can even feed him his meal by hand, making him sit nice before he gets a bite so he earns each bite and it comes from you...you are in control, not him. Does he growl at you over food?

I would only let him and Lucy have toys while supervised so you can stay on top of any potential problems. Does Lucy try to fight back or does she try to avoid the situation?

DeeanDave · January 09, 2006, 06:54:01 PM

I agree with all that has been said here - I do what Jen does -- the toys are mine, the chewies are mine...... if the two boys do get in each other's face, so to speak, I'm right there in their face with a very stern no and loss of the toy to both. Looie is the more possessive of toys but only because I believe in his former life, he never knew what toys were. Now he is in a world of wonderful toys and so many, that he tends to get possessive -- Sarge is a lot more laid back with the toys. When they have gotten into a tiff of growling, etc., I'm am right in their face with a very stern no -- the looks I get, the tail between the legs and the crawling off cuz they know they were not being good boys -- and that they have not made their "mommy" very unhappy. They come to me to apologize with a lick and then they will go to each other and "apologize" with a lick -- then they are buds again. But the toy or whatever they were having a tif over, is in my possession for a while. They do not growl at me and I can take whatever I want from them. They know if they ever want to see the toy or chewie again, that they need to behave.

April · January 10, 2006, 09:19:49 AM

With Cajsa we never had any problems but we had always given her toys/chews and taken them away at will. She knew we controled them and she would never be without as if we took one thing she'd probably get another pretty soon. She always had something to play with or chew.
Gretchen on the other hand was more limited with her toys/chews. When we watched her for a month when my grandparents went to TX, we had to teach her manners. She would growl and snip at us if we reached for her toy/chew. That did not work for us at all. We started by taking away the toy and then giving it back to her while we held it. She got pretty comfy with that quickly so we started taking her chews while telling her to "give". By the end of the month she was with us she would "give" her chews or toys to us even if she didn't like it much. She knew she wasn't losing it forever and would be getting it back soon.
With Cajsa they would growl at each other and exchange toys/chews and we never had to step in. If it got to the point where they were constantly growling or trying to take the same toy we would just take it away though so niether got it. They learned if they wanted the toy they had to play nice with each other as well as the people.

Jenny G · January 10, 2006, 10:55:47 AM

Berman is only showing possessiveness with certain toys - not all of them. It's like he becomes obsessed with a specific toy and it rules his world. Last night, he sat on a blanket with the toy in question in his mouth just eyeing everyone. He sat like that for at least 2 hours or so. Every once in a while, he would get up and run around the living room with the toy making sure we all saw him with it.

When I got in the floor to play with Lucy, he brought the toy over for me to throw, but I just told him no and ignored him. We eventually got the toy away from him and put it up. He acted this way once before with another toy and after we took it away for a few weeks, he wasn't so obsessed when we gave it back later.

After we took his toy away last night, I think it finally realized how he was acting because then he was the sweetest puppy in the world! Of course, he could have been trying to manipulate us into give his toy back.

Thanks for everyone's advice - especially with showing Berman who's boss.

My Hounds · January 10, 2006, 11:14:26 AM

Hi, my male started to growl at me and like Nikki suggested you just have to show them who is boss. If he continues to show aggression maybe hand feeding would be a good idea for a while. This will definately establish who is boss and the alpha in the house. Letting your Dachie growl just makes him think he's bigger than he really is.

Jenny G · January 10, 2006, 01:15:35 PM

I don't know about the hand feeding. He's a very picky eater as it is and we've finally gotten him to eat out of his bowl and under 20 minutes. I think if we hand feed, we'd take a step back in this department.

April · January 10, 2006, 02:06:23 PM

Well, you wouldn't have to hand feed him his food. But maybe any treats or chewies he gets? It may be resolved without doing that with food, especially if he only gets possesive of toys.